Skip to main content

Menopause joke

Captain's Log, Stardate 12.16.2008

I got this joke from Love Inspired romance author Debra Clopton:

Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?

Woman's Answer:
One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.

And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!

I'm sorry. What was the question?


Camy here: Any funny menopause stories from you ladies? Or for you guys, from your wives/mothers?

Comments

Anonymous said…
OMG, this was freaking hilarious. I've never seen that joke. **ROTFL***

I don't know if you need to be menapausal to experience this...probably just PMS too could trigger that. LOL
Anonymous said…
This is SO ME! My family just stares at me sometimes when I go off on a rant and then I tell them it's not me that's touchy, it's them!
Anonymous said…
Oh my goodness gracious. I can't wait until I can actually use the excuse of menopause when I act like that. That one's a keeper!
Reihaisha said…
I totally undertsand it.
When I was younger we had about a foot of snow on the ground. after dinner, ny mother announced she was going to strip down to her underwear and go lay out in the snow to cool off. It took my father, me and another sibling to stop her as she was making the dash to the door.
The next summer, my father put in a heavy duty air conditioner in the living room and positioned it over where she sat. When she turned it on, the living room and kitchen became an icebox in about three minutes. She never had to try and lay out in the snow again.
I was flabbergated that she would want to do that but since I have my own "personal summers" these days, I understand. My last boss was a wonderful man and put in an air conditoner in my office in the middle of the planr "beacuse I might be needing it".

In my present plant, I usually take a trip or two to the cold storage room if my personal summer lasts too long ;)
Avily Jerome said…
Wow, that's hilarious!

Not menopausal yet, but having been pregnant three times, I managed to have my share of raging hormones anyway. Thanks for sharing that!

Popular Posts

I GOT A CONTRACT!

Captain’s Log, Stardate 03.29.2006 I had a wonderfully funny blog post planned for today, but I got sidetracked by some news yesterday! Zondervan has offered me a three-book contract on my Asian chick-lit series ! I’m still stunned by everything that’s happened. The series is actually a 4-book projected Asian chick-lit series about four cousins who fall under the infamous family title "Oldest Single Female Cousin," and their ruthless, wealthy grandma applies pressure on each of them to improve their lack of love interests. I think the first book is tentatively scheduled to be released in August 2007. The blurb on the series is on my website here . Brandilyn Collins posted to the ACFW loop about my writing journey, and Tamara Cooper asked that I share it. And since you all know how much I like to talk , here it is. My writing journey: Like most writers, I have wanted to write since I was very young. (In high school, I wrote a fantasy novel that will never see the light of day ...

Brainstorm - character occupation

Captain's Log, Stardate 03.23.2009 Hey guys, I could use some help. In my current manuscript, The Year of the Dog , which is a humorous contemporary romance, I have a minor character, Eddie. He’s my heroine’s ex-boyfriend, and they’re on good terms with each other. He’s a bit irresponsible, but not so much so that he’s a complete loser. He’s got a very easy going attitude, he forgets to pay his bills sometimes, he’s friendly and charming. He’s adventurous and fun to be around, but he’s a little forgetful sometimes, and he tends to spend a little outside his income. I need an occupation for him. What would a charming, easy going, slightly irresponsible guy do for a living? He’s not too irresponsible, because otherwise readers will wonder what in the world my heroine saw in him to date him in the first place. She was attracted to his charm, his easy going attitude (her family’s uptight, and he was a nice contrast), and his adventurousness. But his forgetfulness and irresponsibility ...

Window shopping

Captain’s Log, Stardate 03.14.2005 Knee update: I went to the doctor today for a checkup, and saw his assistant. I’ve been concerned because there’s still inflammation in my knee joint, and it’s been almost 4 months since the surgery. She said she’d talk to the doctor about it tomorrow and call me. Sometimes he suggests laying off the PT to see if that causes the inflammation to go away, but I don’t know if that will work because lately I’ve been pretty active outside of PT. At PT today, the therapist did ultrasound and some sort of electrical current on the joint. Hopefully that will make the inflammation start to go down. I’ll know by tomorrow, probably. Writing: Mt. Hermon conference starts this Friday! On Thursday night, I’ll be at the Santana Row Borders bookstore to help out (and hopefully learn a bit, too) at a booksigning for several of the ACFW authors who are attending Mt. Hermon . That should be lots of fun. I had a good brainstorming time at ...

I’m done

Captain’s Log, Stardate 05.17.2006 Blog book giveaway: My Thursday book giveaway is THE PREACHER’S DAUGHER by Lyn Cote My Monday book giveaway is BLIND DATES CAN BE MURDER by Mindy Starns Clark . You can still enter both giveaways. Just post a comment on each of those blog posts. On Thursday, I'll draw the winner for THE PREACHER’S DAUGHTER and post the title for another book I'm giving away. Stay tuned. I’m done. At the beginning of the year, I made a goal of three books this year. That’s four months per book. I started this manuscript January 15th. I finished in the wee hours of May 17th, so it took me about four months, a day and a few hours. Yay me. I’m going to bed now. Yes, this is the espresso maker on the right, and a professional coffee grinder on the left. By the espresso maker, I mean the one I promised to my long-suffering husband if I got a book contract, as a reward for letting me quit my biotech job and write full-time.

Chinese Take-Out and Sushi for One

Captain’s Log, Supplemental My agent sent me an article from Publisher’s Weekly that discussed this incident: Chinese Take-Out Spawns Christian Controversy And here’s also a blog post that talks about it in more detail: The Fighting 44s This is Soong-Chan Rah’s blog: The PCS blog In sum: Apparently Zondervan (yes, my publisher), who has partnered with Youth Specialties, had put out a youth leaders skit that had stereotypical Asian dialogue, which offended many Christian Asian Americans. In response to the outcry, Zondervan/Youth Specialities put out a sincere apology and is not only freezing the remaining stock of the book, but also reprinting it and replacing the copies people have already bought. I am very proud of my publisher for how they have handled this situation. The skit writers have also issued a public apology . (I feel sorry for them, because they were only trying to write a funny skit, not stir up this maelstrom of internet controversy. I’ve been in youth work long enou...