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What I'm writing in YEAR OF THE DOG

I just finished writing Year of the Dog ! It had a massive plot hole that I had to fix which turned out to be more work than I expected. Here’s a snippet: “Hey, Auntie Nell.” He wrapped his arms around her, bussing her on the cheek and breathing in pikake flowers and shortbread cookies. And suddenly he was nine years old again, and her solid presence had made his chaotic world stable once more. “What are you doing here?” He usually took her to dinner on Wednesday nights, but today was Tuesday. The edges of her smile faltered a little before brightening right back up again. “What, I can’t visit my nephew?” She angled around him to enter his home. “Is this your new house? Looks lovely.” Which was a blatant lie, because the fixer-upper was barely livable, much less acceptable to a neat-freak like his aunt. She also left four matching pink and purple floral suitcases on the stoop behind her. Only then did Ashwin notice the cab driver standing slightly to the side of the walkway. “Can ...
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Menopause joke

Captain's Log, Stardate 12.16.2008

I got this joke from Love Inspired romance author Debra Clopton:

Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?

Woman's Answer:
One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.
And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!

I'm sorry. What was the question?


Camy here: Any funny menopause stories from you ladies? Or for you guys, from your wives/mothers?
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Comments

Anonymous said…
OMG, this was freaking hilarious. I've never seen that joke. **ROTFL***

I don't know if you need to be menapausal to experience this...probably just PMS too could trigger that. LOL
Tue Dec 16, 06:08:00 AM 2008
Anonymous said…
This is SO ME! My family just stares at me sometimes when I go off on a rant and then I tell them it's not me that's touchy, it's them!
Tue Dec 16, 06:34:00 AM 2008
Anonymous said…
Oh my goodness gracious. I can't wait until I can actually use the excuse of menopause when I act like that. That one's a keeper!
Tue Dec 16, 06:48:00 AM 2008
Reihaisha said…
I totally undertsand it.
When I was younger we had about a foot of snow on the ground. after dinner, ny mother announced she was going to strip down to her underwear and go lay out in the snow to cool off. It took my father, me and another sibling to stop her as she was making the dash to the door.
The next summer, my father put in a heavy duty air conditioner in the living room and positioned it over where she sat. When she turned it on, the living room and kitchen became an icebox in about three minutes. She never had to try and lay out in the snow again.
I was flabbergated that she would want to do that but since I have my own "personal summers" these days, I understand. My last boss was a wonderful man and put in an air conditoner in my office in the middle of the planr "beacuse I might be needing it".

In my present plant, I usually take a trip or two to the cold storage room if my personal summer lasts too long ;)
Tue Dec 16, 02:44:00 PM 2008
Avily Jerome said…
Wow, that's hilarious!

Not menopausal yet, but having been pregnant three times, I managed to have my share of raging hormones anyway. Thanks for sharing that!
Tue Dec 16, 05:46:00 PM 2008
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