Skip to main content

Menopause joke

Captain's Log, Stardate 12.16.2008

I got this joke from Love Inspired romance author Debra Clopton:

Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?

Woman's Answer:
One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.
And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!

I'm sorry. What was the question?


Camy here: Any funny menopause stories from you ladies? Or for you guys, from your wives/mothers?
Labels:

Comments

Anonymous said…
OMG, this was freaking hilarious. I've never seen that joke. **ROTFL***

I don't know if you need to be menapausal to experience this...probably just PMS too could trigger that. LOL
Tue Dec 16, 06:08:00 AM 2008
Anonymous said…
This is SO ME! My family just stares at me sometimes when I go off on a rant and then I tell them it's not me that's touchy, it's them!
Tue Dec 16, 06:34:00 AM 2008
Anonymous said…
Oh my goodness gracious. I can't wait until I can actually use the excuse of menopause when I act like that. That one's a keeper!
Tue Dec 16, 06:48:00 AM 2008
Reihaisha said…
I totally undertsand it.
When I was younger we had about a foot of snow on the ground. after dinner, ny mother announced she was going to strip down to her underwear and go lay out in the snow to cool off. It took my father, me and another sibling to stop her as she was making the dash to the door.
The next summer, my father put in a heavy duty air conditioner in the living room and positioned it over where she sat. When she turned it on, the living room and kitchen became an icebox in about three minutes. She never had to try and lay out in the snow again.
I was flabbergated that she would want to do that but since I have my own "personal summers" these days, I understand. My last boss was a wonderful man and put in an air conditoner in my office in the middle of the planr "beacuse I might be needing it".

In my present plant, I usually take a trip or two to the cold storage room if my personal summer lasts too long ;)
Tue Dec 16, 02:44:00 PM 2008
Avily Jerome said…
Wow, that's hilarious!

Not menopausal yet, but having been pregnant three times, I managed to have my share of raging hormones anyway. Thanks for sharing that!
Tue Dec 16, 05:46:00 PM 2008
Post a Comment

Popular Posts

Tabi socks, part deux

Captain's Log, Stardate 07.25.2008 (If you're on Ravelry, friend me! I'm camytang.) I made tabi socks again! (At the bottom of the pattern is the calculation for the toe split if you're not using the same weight yarn that I did for this pattern (fingering). I also give an example from when I used worsted weight yarn with this pattern.) I used Opal yarn, Petticoat colorway. It’s a finer yarn than my last pair of tabi socks, so I altered the pattern a bit. Okay, so here’s my first foray into giving a knitting pattern. Camy’s top-down Tabi Socks I’m assuming you already know the basics of knitting socks. If you’re a beginner, here are some great tutorials: Socks 101 How to Knit Socks The Sock Knitter’s Companion A video of turning the heel Sock Knitting Tips Yarn: I have used both fingering weight and worsted weight yarn with this pattern. You just change the number of cast on stitches according to your gauge and the circumference of your ankle. Th...
18 comments
Read more

No Cold Bums toilet seat cover

Captain's Log, Stardate 08.22.2008 I actually wrote out my pattern! I was getting a lot of hits on my infamous toilet seat cover , and I wanted to make a new one with “improvements,” so I paid attention and wrote things down as I made the new one. This was originally based off the Potty Mouth toilet cover , but I altered it to fit over the seat instead of the lid. Yarn: any worsted weight yarn, about 120 yards (this is a really tight number, I used exactly 118 yards. My suggestion is to make sure you have about 130 yards.) I suggest using acrylic yarn because you’re going to be washing this often. Needle: I used US 8, but you can use whatever needle size is recommended by the yarn you’re using. Gauge: Not that important. Mine was 4 sts/1 inch in garter stitch. 6 buttons (I used some leftover shell buttons I had in my stash) tapestry needle Crochet hook (optional) Cover: Using a provisional cast on, cast on 12 stitches. Work in garter st until liner measures...
10 comments
Read more

A Wallflower’s Slip of the Tongue – Free Regency eBook

If you enjoy Regency romance with wit, awkward ballroom encounters, and a heroine who can’t quite keep her thoughts to herself, you’ll love Lissa and the Spy . This free Christian Regency romantic suspense novella is the perfect entry point into my Lady Wynwood’s Spies series. Get it free when you join my newsletter (details below). Miss Lissa Gardinier survived her last London Season by pretending to be as inoffensive as possible. But at this ball, she lets her true thoughts slip yet again . And this time, they involve an unfortunately named spaniel. Excerpt Last year during that first dance with Mr. Collingworth, upon seeing him excitedly discuss his dog breeding, she had been encouraged to also speak without restraint. So she had voiced her exact thoughts rather than hiding behind a vapid facade. “Why in the world would you name a dog Lickspittle Furrybottom?” At Mr. Collingworth’s startled look, Lissa realized that she’d said that out loud now , in this dance with him. “… Not...
Post a Comment
Read more

Free Christian Romantic Suspense Novels by Camy Tang / Camille Elliot

Curious about what my writing is like? Here’s a list of all my free books and the free short stories, novellas, and novels that you can read here on my blog. I’ll update this post as I add more free reads. Christian Romantic Suspense: Necessary Proof (Sonoma series #4.1, novella) Click here to buy the FREE ebook on all retailers Alex Villa became a Christian in prison, and because of his efforts to help stop a gang producing meth in Sonoma, he has been set up for the death of a cop. Can computer expert Jane Lawton find the evidence that will prove his innocence before the gang eliminates them both? Fantasy short stories: Pixies in a Garden in Kyoto There were pixies in the garden. Since she was in Kyoto, she was certain they were not called pixies, but she didn't know what they would be called in Japanese, and they certainly looked like what she imagined pixies would look like. The King’s Daughter The trees in the King's garden were full of colored pixie lights. The...
Post a Comment
Read more

Toilet seat cover

Captain’s Log, Supplemental Update August 2008: I wrote up the pattern for this with "improvements"! Here's the link to my No Cold Bums toilet seat cover ! Okay, remember a few days ago I was complaining about the cold toilet seat in my bathroom? Well, I decided to knit a seat cover. Not a lid cover, but a seat cover. I went online and couldn’t find anything for the seat, just one pattern for the lid by Feminitz.com . However, I took her pattern for the inside edge of the lid cover and modified it to make a seat cover. Here it is! It’s really ugly stitch-wise because originally I made it too small and had to extend it a couple inches on each side. I figured I’d be the one staring at it, so who cared if the extension wasn’t perfectly invisible? I used acrylic yarn since, well, that’s what I had, and also because it’s easy to wash. I’ll probably have to wash this cover every week or so, but it’s easy to take off—I made ties which you can see near the back of the seat. And...
21 comments
Read more