Skip to main content

Menopause joke

Captain's Log, Stardate 12.16.2008

I got this joke from Love Inspired romance author Debra Clopton:

Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?

Woman's Answer:
One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.

And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!

I'm sorry. What was the question?


Camy here: Any funny menopause stories from you ladies? Or for you guys, from your wives/mothers?

Comments

Anonymous said…
OMG, this was freaking hilarious. I've never seen that joke. **ROTFL***

I don't know if you need to be menapausal to experience this...probably just PMS too could trigger that. LOL
Anonymous said…
This is SO ME! My family just stares at me sometimes when I go off on a rant and then I tell them it's not me that's touchy, it's them!
Anonymous said…
Oh my goodness gracious. I can't wait until I can actually use the excuse of menopause when I act like that. That one's a keeper!
Reihaisha said…
I totally undertsand it.
When I was younger we had about a foot of snow on the ground. after dinner, ny mother announced she was going to strip down to her underwear and go lay out in the snow to cool off. It took my father, me and another sibling to stop her as she was making the dash to the door.
The next summer, my father put in a heavy duty air conditioner in the living room and positioned it over where she sat. When she turned it on, the living room and kitchen became an icebox in about three minutes. She never had to try and lay out in the snow again.
I was flabbergated that she would want to do that but since I have my own "personal summers" these days, I understand. My last boss was a wonderful man and put in an air conditoner in my office in the middle of the planr "beacuse I might be needing it".

In my present plant, I usually take a trip or two to the cold storage room if my personal summer lasts too long ;)
Avily Jerome said…
Wow, that's hilarious!

Not menopausal yet, but having been pregnant three times, I managed to have my share of raging hormones anyway. Thanks for sharing that!

Popular Posts

Poll for the title of my book!

Captain’s Log, Supplemental Blog book giveaway: My Thursday book giveaway is The Wedding Caper by Janice Thompson . My Monday book giveaway is Thanks for the Mammogram! AND Reconstructing Natalie , both by Laura Jensen Walker . You can still enter both giveaways. Just post a comment on the blog posts above . On Thursday, I'll draw the winner for The Wedding Caper and post the title for another book I'm giving away. Pick my title! The Zondervan Marketing Department is torn about which title would be best for my debut novel. So you guys get to weigh in! Here are your choices: Solo Sushi Sushi for One Single Sushi Solo Sashimi Leave a comment about which you prefer and WHY. I’ll run this poll for a couple weeks to figure out which will be the title for my new book! TMI: Writing: I posted another "Health and the Writer" post at WriterQuotes , and an agent post at my Story Sensei blog . And in case you missed it, my review of The Guy I’m Not Dating by Trish Perry is ...

Mon afghan

Captain's Log, Stardate 02.24.2009 I am extraordinarily proud of this. For Christmas, I wanted to knit something for my parents that would be really cool and personal, and sort of an heirloom. So I took the five family crests I had for my family (in Japanese, a family crest is called a “mon”) and graphed the designs on knitting graph paper so that I could knit intarsia panels of the mons. I knit 5 intarsia panels and 4 plain panels and then sewed them together to make an afghan. In Japan, family crests are carried by both male and female, so I used mons from both my parents' sides. Traditionally, mons are passed down from mother to daughter and from father to son, but there are sometimes cases of a son taking a mother’s mon or a husband taking his wife’s family’s mon and things like that. I know we have more than 5 family crests, but we’ve lost some of them. My mom tried to find them all several years ago, but could only find these five. The fans mon was actually...

Mansfield Park (BBC 1986)

Captain’s Log, Supplemental Blog book giveaway: To enter, go to the blog links below and post a comment there. Valley of Betrayal by Tricia Goyer It Happens Every Spring by Gary Chapman and Catherine Palmer Jane Austen miniseries I love Jane Austen. She’s my favorite classic writer, and I even bought audiobooks of her novels and listen to them again and again. I also love Amazon.com and visit my Gold Box every day (not that I buy that often). One day I had a deal for the entire set of DVDs of miniseries produced by BBC of Jane Austen’s novels. No, I didn’t buy the set—but it made me curious, and so I put the miniseries on my Netflix queue. The miniseries are all rather old. I just finished Mansfield Park . I’m quite divided on it. Costumes: score 4. They were mostly really rather nice, appropriate to the character’s background and income, and not too flamboyant, although there were several places the women’s headgear was just way over the top. Acting: score 4. I l...

Got my books!

Captain's Log, Supplemental Okay, I'm still at the library and Captain Caffeine sent me these pics since I wasn't home when they arrived: MY AUTHOR COPIES ARRIVED! Wow, that's just so cool. And I'm so glad Captain Caffeine sent me pics!

Grace Livingston Hill romances free to read online

I wanted to update my old post on Grace Livingston Hill romances because now there are tons more options for you to be able to read her books for free online! I’m a huge Grace Livingston Hill fan. Granted, not all her books resonate with me, but there are a few that I absolutely love, like The Enchanted Barn and Crimson Roses . And the best part is that she wrote over 100 books and I haven’t yet read them all! When I have time, I like to dive into a new GLH novel. I like the fact that most of them are romances, and I especially appreciate that they all have strong Christian themes. Occasionally the Christian content is a little heavy-handed for my taste, but it’s so interesting to see what the Christian faith was like in the early part of the 20th century. These books are often Cinderella-type stories or A Little Princess (Frances Hodgson Burnett) type stories, which I love. And the best part is that they’re all set in the early 1900s, so the time period is absolutely fasci...