Monday, January 16, 2006

My ACL might be okay

Captain's Log, Stardate 01.16.2006

I went to the physical therapist for my appointment today and she tested my knee. In fact, she even got the other physical therapist to test my knee, too. They both think the ACL is fine. She says that it's loose, but she can feel the "stop" when she tugs, meaning it's still there. I'm praying she's right.

I have an appointment with my surgeon Dr. Warren King tomorrow in Palo Alto. The first time I tore it, his assistant tugged and didn't think it was torn, but he tugged and instantly knew it was torn. I think the assistant had a harder time telling because I had so much swelling. I'm hoping the doctor will be able to tell if it's torn or not.

Last night, I couldn't sleep because I was worrying about it. And even before I heard the hopeful news today, I realized that God must have some reason for my suffering. He must have some reason for me to fall and (possibly) tear my ACL.

My suffering isn't even really that bad compared to a lot of other people. And if He can use my suffering to serve Him somehow, then maybe it's okay. I'm down with that.

Bible in 90 Days: day 8. I can't believe I've gotten this far. I finished Leviticus today--the book only took me two days. It really made it easier to get through because I was reading so much, so fast. I wasn't skimming, but I wasn't stopping too often to ponder and question. I just let the words sink in and let the Holy Spirit speak to me when He wanted to.

Writing: nothing done today YET. The key word is YET! I need to do more characterization.

Diet: I went to PT to get some exercise (great). Then I had a HUGE lunch with my friend Sarah at the Cheesecake Factory. I had an appetizer salad (good) and a side of fries (bad) and the salmon rolls appetizer plate (okay). Then we shared a strawberry shortcake (bad bad bad bad bad). Tonight I'm making tuna casserole, so I might redeem myself.

I'm still drinking tea with soymilk and no sugar. So far it's been pretty good. I'm getting more used to it and I'm even enjoying it.


  1. CamyGirl,

    That was hopeful news on the ACL--will pray. Nope--stopping now to pray. Okay, prayed for your ACL.

    You're so sweet to list everyone you're praying for. Very encouraging. Thanks for adding Pattie. She means so much to me--and this is so hard for her. Not just the obvious, but having to let go of things she's responsible for--she feels like she's letting people down or shirking her committments.

    And about that 90 day Bible--how cool is this?????

  2. Sweet Camy ... God isn't using this suffering to get you to serve Him in some way. He may be trying to get you to stop and be still. He's with you as you're suffering, hoping you'll give everything you're thinking/feeling/worrying about to Him. He doesn't want you to be in pain. But He's so ready to carry you through it, if you'll let Him.

    I know you want to. I know you already know everything I'm saying. Forgive me for saying it. It just breaks my heart to hear about all you're going through. I wish I could help in some way, but at this point my words are pretty inept. But His arms are not.

    Everything, girl ... give Him everything. Trust Him. All He wants you to do at this point is to find rest in Him. Even through the pain. It's possible. He is our strength. He is the God Who Heals. Crawl up on His lap and lean against His chest. Relax against Him. Breathe. Rest. Trust. About everything.

    He doesn't allow suffering to teach us or to cause us to increase our service or ministry to Him. He allows suffering so we can truly know He is. In our suffering, we either trust Him or we don't. If we trust Him, we either receive healing, or we don't. But if we trust Him completely, we find rest in the middle of our suffering. Rest and strength. And we step one step closer to truly knowing His tender father's heart.

    These are my prayers for you this day.

    Love you, lady.
    : )

  3. Sorry to hear about your suffering but I'm encouraged by your sweet Christian attitude towards it (unlike me :( who tends to gripe a blue streak. I have soo much to learn from you. And thanks so much for being so thoughtful and sensitive to include me in all your prayers. Love ya! Cheers, Mok

  4. I was lying in bed praying for you, especially the knee, last night.

    I will pray the doc finds you quite well, with no need for further "proceduring".

    Rest, pray, write, sing, praise.

    You're gonna get past this...the frustration is real and pressing, but it is temporary.