Captain’s Log, Stardate 12.30.04
I had a good quiet time today with God. My Bible study is starting a new book, Authenticity by Bill Hybels. The study sessions (six in all) are pretty good, but very long because they ask me to think so deeply, so I’m splitting the session into smaller manageable pieces. Today was great because the study made me realize that I go through my day focusing on my agenda, my responsibilities, my goals. As a result, I miss the people around me.
I’m more caught up in my back pain than in how my chiropractor is doing. I’m more focused on how a phone call interrupted me rather than on the person who called to chat. I’m working in my head on the things I’ll say to my boss rather than seeking God’s will for what to do.
I read Psalm 46, where David marvels at God’s hand in the things that happen to him, and he affirms his trust in God to deliver and protect him. This made me realize that I need to foster that kind of perspective, to see God in the rain, the traffic, the love of my dog. God’s hand is over all these minor things, these things serve some purpose for Him.
Rather than being wrapped up in my narrow focus on the things I need to do, need to be, need to think about, I need to see Him, I need to be more aware of Him. Then my trust in Him will flow from that awareness that He is surrounding me and orchestrating everything around me.
This is hard, it’s like trying to pray like breathing. I don’t think to breathe, so I should try to learn to pray without ceasing, without effort. This kind of perspective is like that, too. I need to remind myself of God’s sovereignty, and only over time will I automatically see it in the things around me.
Writing: Yesterday, I made myself sit and write but didn’t feel terribly successful (45-49). I don’t know how people can just sit and pound these things out. I distracted myself practically every paragraph. But I got a useful article or filler out of it--“Motivation to write when you feel like a slug.” LOL. I decided to change the POV for a scene, it seemed appropriate as I ended the scene before it. I hope it turns out okay. I may not write much today because I just got in the first two discs from Star Trek Voyager season 7.
Diet: Not terribly healthy. I’m guestimating I ate about 1700 calories yesterday. But I think the hummus I ate made my stomach a bit upset, guess I better throw that out. Drinking lots of zero calorie hot tea, and water to offset the caffeine. Today I’ve only eaten two pieces of fruitcake (raisins and apricots have fiber, right?), but I’ll eat something healthy later tonight when I watch more Star Trek!