Skip to main content

Lady Wynwood's Spies 4 vignette - Lady Stoude

This is a really random scene I wrote that occurs in Lady Wynwood’s Spies, Volume 4: Betrayer right after chapter 28, after Keriah returns home and before Phoebe comes to pick her up later that night. The team has finished making all preparations for the trade for Michael at Vauxhall Gardens.

NOTE: Chapter 28 used to be chapter 23, but I recently reordered the chapters so they weren’t so honkin’ long. If you download the latest version of the ebook, the chapter numbers should be corrected. Otherwise, this vignette happens after chapter 23 in the old version of the ebook.

***

“Oh! I have no wish to go to the ball tonight!”

Lady Stoude stood in the open doorway to the drawing room of her husband’s townhouse, hands on hips, with a disgruntled expression that looked faintly like a drowned cat.

Her husband, Jeremy, Lord Stoude, glanced up at her from where he was leaning against the mantle of the fireplace, drinking something amber-colored and peaty-smelling. He merely gave her a mild, inquiring look. “Why not, my dear?”

“I have just heard from my maid, who heard from Mrs. Butterworth’s maid, who heard from Miss Farrimond’s maid, that Miss Farrimond will not attend the ball tonight, because an unfortunate accident with hair dye caused her to now sport a giant brown splotch on her cheek.”

“I thought you detested Miss Farrimond, my dear, because of the terrible insult she gave to Keriah at the soiree few weeks ago—something about Keriah’s dress making her look like a crooked weed.”

“Of course I detest Miss Farrimond,” his lady replied tartly. “And without her at the ball, I would have no one to bully, and so it will be quite boring.”

Jeremy sipped his drink. “You mustn’t bully the young women, my dear. After all, what would happen if you made them cry?”

“I never make them cry. Mostly because they are too unintelligent to be able to understand my insults, and so it flies right over them. But Miss Farrimond is smart enough to know exactly when I am insulting her.” Lady Stoude’s eyes gleamed. “Miss Farrimond is quite ugly when she flushes, and I have been trying to get her to flush to the same color as the beets we ate last week.”

Jeremy cast her a chiding look. “Even with your protectiveness of your sister, you are perhaps being rather cruel to Miss Farrimond.”

“After the way she hurt Keriah by referring to her leg injury—you know how sensitive Keriah is about that—I have no qualms whatsoever in getting in a few good pokes.” She sighed. “The evening will be sadly flat without that entertainment.” Lady Stoude staggered to the sofa and melodramatically cast herself down upon it.

There was a sudden crack of glass, and she sat up, glancing around her, before shuffling her bottom aside to see what she had sat upon. She picked up a reticule, a knitted lace drawstring lined with satin. “Oh dear, I do believe this belongs to Keriah. What was it doing on the couch? I wonder what I have accidentally broken—”

A horrific expression suddenly came over Lady Stoude’s face. She started coughing so violently that her fingers, gripping the front of her dress over her stomach, tore the fabric.

Jeremy smelled the noxious scent only a second later, but he had the presence of mind to hold his breath and rush to open the drawing room windows.

Lady Stoude had collapsed onto the carpet, coughing while trying to crawl toward the window.

Lord Stoude wiped his watering eyes. “Well, this gives you the perfect excuse not to attend the party tonight.”

***

Keriah searched through her bedroom. Where was her reticule? The only thing of importance in it was one extra pouch of tracking chemicals that she had made for Mr. Coulton-Jones. She had forgotten to give it to him, and thought she might instead hand it to Mr. Ackett in case he needed it for… something. It certainly was not an excuse to speak to Mr. Ackett.

She stood in the midst of her bedroom, hands on hips. She really must find her reticule. If the two glass vials were broken and the chemicals mixed together, they formed quite an offensive odor. She would hate it if the glass vials were accidentally broken inside the house ...

Comments

Popular Posts

No Cold Bums toilet seat cover

Captain's Log, Stardate 08.22.2008 I actually wrote out my pattern! I was getting a lot of hits on my infamous toilet seat cover , and I wanted to make a new one with “improvements,” so I paid attention and wrote things down as I made the new one. This was originally based off the Potty Mouth toilet cover , but I altered it to fit over the seat instead of the lid. Yarn: any worsted weight yarn, about 120 yards (this is a really tight number, I used exactly 118 yards. My suggestion is to make sure you have about 130 yards.) I suggest using acrylic yarn because you’re going to be washing this often. Needle: I used US 8, but you can use whatever needle size is recommended by the yarn you’re using. Gauge: Not that important. Mine was 4 sts/1 inch in garter stitch. 6 buttons (I used some leftover shell buttons I had in my stash) tapestry needle Crochet hook (optional) Cover: Using a provisional cast on, cast on 12 stitches. Work in garter st until liner measures...

Tabi socks, part deux

Captain's Log, Stardate 07.25.2008 (If you're on Ravelry, friend me! I'm camytang.) I made tabi socks again! (At the bottom of the pattern is the calculation for the toe split if you're not using the same weight yarn that I did for this pattern (fingering). I also give an example from when I used worsted weight yarn with this pattern.) I used Opal yarn, Petticoat colorway. It’s a finer yarn than my last pair of tabi socks, so I altered the pattern a bit. Okay, so here’s my first foray into giving a knitting pattern. Camy’s top-down Tabi Socks I’m assuming you already know the basics of knitting socks. If you’re a beginner, here are some great tutorials: Socks 101 How to Knit Socks The Sock Knitter’s Companion A video of turning the heel Sock Knitting Tips Yarn: I have used both fingering weight and worsted weight yarn with this pattern. You just change the number of cast on stitches according to your gauge and the circumference of your ankle. Th...

Toilet seat cover

Captain’s Log, Supplemental Update August 2008: I wrote up the pattern for this with "improvements"! Here's the link to my No Cold Bums toilet seat cover ! Okay, remember a few days ago I was complaining about the cold toilet seat in my bathroom? Well, I decided to knit a seat cover. Not a lid cover, but a seat cover. I went online and couldn’t find anything for the seat, just one pattern for the lid by Feminitz.com . However, I took her pattern for the inside edge of the lid cover and modified it to make a seat cover. Here it is! It’s really ugly stitch-wise because originally I made it too small and had to extend it a couple inches on each side. I figured I’d be the one staring at it, so who cared if the extension wasn’t perfectly invisible? I used acrylic yarn since, well, that’s what I had, and also because it’s easy to wash. I’ll probably have to wash this cover every week or so, but it’s easy to take off—I made ties which you can see near the back of the seat. And...

Grace Livingston Hill romances free to read online

I wanted to update my old post on Grace Livingston Hill romances because now there are tons more options for you to be able to read her books for free online! I’m a huge Grace Livingston Hill fan. Granted, not all her books resonate with me, but there are a few that I absolutely love, like The Enchanted Barn and Crimson Roses . And the best part is that she wrote over 100 books and I haven’t yet read them all! When I have time, I like to dive into a new GLH novel. I like the fact that most of them are romances, and I especially appreciate that they all have strong Christian themes. Occasionally the Christian content is a little heavy-handed for my taste, but it’s so interesting to see what the Christian faith was like in the early part of the 20th century. These books are often Cinderella-type stories or A Little Princess (Frances Hodgson Burnett) type stories, which I love. And the best part is that they’re all set in the early 1900s, so the time period is absolutely fasci...

What Is a Brutus Cut? A Regency Hair Trend Inspired by Ancient Rome

Regency Haircuts and Disguises in Lady Wynwood’s Spies In this excerpt from Lady Wynwood’s Spies, Volume 8: Traitor , Phoebe prepares for a dangerous mission—one that requires her to disguise herself as a young man. The hairstyle she receives, called a Brutus cut, was actually quite fashionable during the Regency. Read on to find out more about this curious trend and why it suited her new identity so well. Excerpt from Lady Wynwood’s Spies, Volume 8: Traitor : By far, the absolute worst part of Uncle Sol’s plan was that Phoebe had to cut her hair. Of the four agents, Phoebe and Mr. Coulton-Jones would be the least likely to be recognized when they entered the Ramparts building—Mr. Coulton-Jones, because of his skill in altering his facial features and his posture, and Phoebe, because she could play a convincing young man, which no one would expect. A disreputable hat would hide her long hair to an extent, but it would not fool anyone who looked closely. Also, because she would lo...