Skip to main content

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME ______________________________________________
DATE of BIRTH ______________

HEIGHT __________ WEIGHT ________________
IQ _____________ GPA ______________

SOCIAL SECURITY # _______________________
DRIVERS LICENSE # ________________

BOY SCOUT RANK and BADGES
___________________________________________________

ADDRESS ________________________________
CITY/STATE ____________ ZIP __________

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No

Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, please
explain:_______________________________________________________________________

How long have your parents been married?
___________________________________________
If less than your age, please explain:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________


ACCESSORIES SECTION:
(If you answered "Yes" to any of the above, discontinue application and leave premises.)

1. Do you own or have access to a van?
__Yes __No
2. Do you own a truck with oversized tires?
__Yes __No
3. Do you own a waterbed?
__Yes __No
4. Do you own or have access to a pickup with a mattress in the back?
__Yes __No
5. Do you currently have or are you planning on getting tattoo?
__Yes __No
6. Do you own or are you planning on owning an earring?
__Yes __No
7. Is your nose or belly button pierced?
__Yes __No
8. Is your tongue or cheek pierced?
__Yes __No

ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does "late" mean to you?
____________________________________________________________________________________________
___________

In 50 words or less, what does "Don't touch my daughter." mean to
you? ________________________________________________________________________
___________

In 50 words or less, what does "abstinence" mean to you?
_____________________________________________________________________________________
___________

REFERENCES SECTION:
What Church do you attend?
_____________________________________________________
How often do you attend?
________________________________________________________
When would be the best day and time to interview your:
Father _____________
Mother _____________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi _____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.
1. If I were shot, the last place I would want to be shot would be…
__________________
2. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my…
______________________
3. A woman's place is in the…
____________________________________________________
4. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is…
__________________
5. IF I grow up, I want to…
______________________________________________________
6. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is…
__________________
7. The current going rate of a hotel room is…
______________________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, AND RED HOT POKERS.

_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name)

_______________________________
________________________________
Mother's
Signature
Father's Signature

_______________________________
________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi
State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest. It had better be genuine and non-sexual
in nature. Please allow four to six years for application
processing. I will contact you in writing if you are approved.
Please do not try to call or write.
Labels:

Comments

Unknown said…
I love this. Thank you for sharing.
Thu Jan 30, 06:08:00 AM 2014
MaryAnn Diorio, PhD, MFA said…
Was this written by an Italian papa? LOL! Sounds like my husband with our daughters. :) Thanks so much for posting, Camy.
Thu Jan 30, 09:26:00 AM 2014
Camy Tang said…
Isn't this hilarious? :)
Fri Jan 31, 02:43:00 AM 2014
Camy Tang said…
LOLOLOL Just don't tell me where he buries the bodies. :)
Fri Jan 31, 02:43:00 AM 2014
Post a Comment

Popular Posts

Toilet seat cover

Captain’s Log, Supplemental Update August 2008: I wrote up the pattern for this with "improvements"! Here's the link to my No Cold Bums toilet seat cover ! Okay, remember a few days ago I was complaining about the cold toilet seat in my bathroom? Well, I decided to knit a seat cover. Not a lid cover, but a seat cover. I went online and couldn’t find anything for the seat, just one pattern for the lid by Feminitz.com . However, I took her pattern for the inside edge of the lid cover and modified it to make a seat cover. Here it is! It’s really ugly stitch-wise because originally I made it too small and had to extend it a couple inches on each side. I figured I’d be the one staring at it, so who cared if the extension wasn’t perfectly invisible? I used acrylic yarn since, well, that’s what I had, and also because it’s easy to wash. I’ll probably have to wash this cover every week or so, but it’s easy to take off—I made ties which you can see near the back of the seat. And...
21 comments
Read more

I sold to Steeple Hill!

Captain's Log, Supplemental Remember that romantic suspense proposal I blogged about earlier? Well, it just sold to Steeple Hill’s Love Inspired Suspense line! I am so jazzed! I am beyond jazzed! The story’s working title is Sinister Spa The story's title is Deadly Intent and here’s a blurb (but it’s probably not what will appear on the back of the book): Massage therapist Naomi Grant could use a massage herself. With her father at home recovering from a stroke, Naomi is put in charge of the family’s elite day spa in Sonoma county. The new responsibilities sit awkwardly on her shoulders, and things only get worse when handsome Dr. Devon Knightley breezes into the spa, demanding to see one of the female clients. And the woman is found dead in Naomi’s massage room. Suddenly, Naomi is a suspect and her family’s spa is shut down. How could God let this awful thing happen? Devon only needed to see his ex-wife about a family necklace she still hadn’t returned, but when she dies and...
32 comments
Read more

I got my cover!

Captain’s Log, Supplemental Blog book giveaway: To enter, go to the blog links below and post a comment there. Eyes of Elisha by Brandilyn Collins Tangerine by Marilynn Griffith I GOT MY COVER!!!! What do you guys think?
34 comments
Read more

No Cold Bums toilet seat cover

Captain's Log, Stardate 08.22.2008 I actually wrote out my pattern! I was getting a lot of hits on my infamous toilet seat cover , and I wanted to make a new one with “improvements,” so I paid attention and wrote things down as I made the new one. This was originally based off the Potty Mouth toilet cover , but I altered it to fit over the seat instead of the lid. Yarn: any worsted weight yarn, about 120 yards (this is a really tight number, I used exactly 118 yards. My suggestion is to make sure you have about 130 yards.) I suggest using acrylic yarn because you’re going to be washing this often. Needle: I used US 8, but you can use whatever needle size is recommended by the yarn you’re using. Gauge: Not that important. Mine was 4 sts/1 inch in garter stitch. 6 buttons (I used some leftover shell buttons I had in my stash) tapestry needle Crochet hook (optional) Cover: Using a provisional cast on, cast on 12 stitches. Work in garter st until liner measures...
10 comments
Read more

Cover Reveal + New Logo for Year of the Dog, a Mahina Security Novel

A New Look for Year of the Dog (and a Behind-the-Scenes Oops!) What do a dog trainer, a security expert, and a nearly-naked book cover have in common? Let me explain. 😅 Year of the Dog is the first book in my Christian romantic suspense series, Mahina Security, set in beautiful (and sometimes dangerous) Hawaii. It features quirky humor, family tensions, sweet romance, and a mystery involving a missing person—and it’s now available to read in the Christian suspense anthology, Danger in the Shadows , on Kindle Unlimited ! But before that happened, I had a bit of a cover mishap… While creating the ebook cover, I realized that the original stock photo made my heroine look, well, completely nekkid. 😳 She’s actually wearing a tube top in the image, but when I cropped it for the ebook, the top disappeared—leaving her looking very PG-13. To fix it, I did some Canva magic on a strappy top from another image and stuck it onto the model (so she’s decent now). But when I resize...
Post a Comment
Read more