APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME ______________________________________________
DATE of BIRTH ______________

HEIGHT __________ WEIGHT ________________
IQ _____________ GPA ______________

SOCIAL SECURITY # _______________________
DRIVERS LICENSE # ________________

BOY SCOUT RANK and BADGES
___________________________________________________

ADDRESS ________________________________
CITY/STATE ____________ ZIP __________

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No

Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, please
explain:_______________________________________________________________________

How long have your parents been married?
___________________________________________
If less than your age, please explain:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:
(If you answered "Yes" to any of the above, discontinue application and leave premises.)

1. Do you own or have access to a van?
__Yes __No
2. Do you own a truck with oversized tires?
__Yes __No
3. Do you own a waterbed?
__Yes __No
4. Do you own or have access to a pickup with a mattress in the back?
__Yes __No
5. Do you currently have or are you planning on getting tattoo?
__Yes __No
6. Do you own or are you planning on owning an earring?
__Yes __No
7. Is your nose or belly button pierced?
__Yes __No
8. Is your tongue or cheek pierced?
__Yes __No

ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does "late" mean to you?
____________________________________________________________________________________________
___________

In 50 words or less, what does "Don't touch my daughter." mean to
you? ________________________________________________________________________
___________

In 50 words or less, what does "abstinence" mean to you?
_____________________________________________________________________________________
___________

REFERENCES SECTION:
What Church do you attend?
_____________________________________________________
How often do you attend?
________________________________________________________
When would be the best day and time to interview your:
Father _____________
Mother _____________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi _____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.
1. If I were shot, the last place I would want to be shot would be…
__________________
2. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my…
______________________
3. A woman's place is in the…
____________________________________________________
4. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is…
__________________
5. IF I grow up, I want to…
______________________________________________________
6. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is…
__________________
7. The current going rate of a hotel room is…
______________________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, AND RED HOT POKERS.

_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name)

_______________________________
________________________________
Mother's
Signature
Father's Signature

_______________________________
________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi
State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest. It had better be genuine and non-sexual
in nature. Please allow four to six years for application
processing. I will contact you in writing if you are approved.
Please do not try to call or write.

Comments

Unknown said…

I love this. Thank you for sharing.

Thu Jan 30, 06:08:00 AM 2014

MaryAnn Diorio, PhD, MFA said…

Was this written by an Italian papa? LOL! Sounds like my husband with our daughters. :) Thanks so much for posting, Camy.

Thu Jan 30, 09:26:00 AM 2014

Camy Tang said…

Isn't this hilarious? :)

Fri Jan 31, 02:43:00 AM 2014

Camy Tang said…

LOLOLOL Just don't tell me where he buries the bodies. :)

Fri Jan 31, 02:43:00 AM 2014

Camille's Writing Progress

Join my newsletter to get regular updates in your inbox!

Tabi socks, part deux

Captain's Log, Stardate 07.25.2008 (If you're on Ravelry, friend me! I'm camytang.) I made tabi socks again! (At the bottom of the pattern is the calculation for the toe split if you're not using the same weight yarn that I did for this pattern (fingering). I also give an example from when I used worsted weight yarn with this pattern.) I used Opal yarn, Petticoat colorway. It’s a finer yarn than my last pair of tabi socks, so I altered the pattern a bit. Okay, so here’s my first foray into giving a knitting pattern. Camy’s top-down Tabi Socks I’m assuming you already know the basics of knitting socks. If you’re a beginner, here are some great tutorials: Socks 101 How to Knit Socks The Sock Knitter’s Companion A video of turning the heel Sock Knitting Tips Yarn: I have used both fingering weight and worsted weight yarn with this pattern. You just change the number of cast on stitches according to your gauge and the circumference of your ankle. Th

Toilet seat cover

Captain’s Log, Supplemental Update August 2008: I wrote up the pattern for this with "improvements"! Here's the link to my No Cold Bums toilet seat cover ! Okay, remember a few days ago I was complaining about the cold toilet seat in my bathroom? Well, I decided to knit a seat cover. Not a lid cover, but a seat cover. I went online and couldn’t find anything for the seat, just one pattern for the lid by Feminitz.com . However, I took her pattern for the inside edge of the lid cover and modified it to make a seat cover. Here it is! It’s really ugly stitch-wise because originally I made it too small and had to extend it a couple inches on each side. I figured I’d be the one staring at it, so who cared if the extension wasn’t perfectly invisible? I used acrylic yarn since, well, that’s what I had, and also because it’s easy to wash. I’ll probably have to wash this cover every week or so, but it’s easy to take off—I made ties which you can see near the back of the seat. And

A List of my Free Blog Reads

Curious about what my writing is like? Here’s a list of all my free books and the free short stories, novellas, and novels that you can read here on my blog. I’ll update this post as I add more free reads. Christian Humorous Romantic Suspense: Year of the Dog (Warubozu Spa Chronicles series, Prequel novel) (Currently being posted monthly on my blog as a serial novel) Marisol Mutou, a professional dog trainer, finally has a chance to buy a facility for her business, but her world is upended when she must move in with her disapproving family, who have always made her feel inadequate. When she stumbles upon a three-year-old missing persons case, security expert Ashwin Keitou, whose car she accidentally rear-ended a few weeks earlier, is tasked with protecting her. However, danger begins to circle around them from people who want the past to remain there. Can they shed light on the secrets moving in the shadows? Christian Romantic Suspense: Necessary Proof (Sonoma series #4.1, n

No Cold Bums toilet seat cover

Captain's Log, Stardate 08.22.2008 I actually wrote out my pattern! I was getting a lot of hits on my infamous toilet seat cover , and I wanted to make a new one with “improvements,” so I paid attention and wrote things down as I made the new one. This was originally based off the Potty Mouth toilet cover , but I altered it to fit over the seat instead of the lid. Yarn: any worsted weight yarn, about 120 yards (this is a really tight number, I used exactly 118 yards. My suggestion is to make sure you have about 130 yards.) I suggest using acrylic yarn because you’re going to be washing this often. Needle: I used US 8, but you can use whatever needle size is recommended by the yarn you’re using. Gauge: Not that important. Mine was 4 sts/1 inch in garter stitch. 6 buttons (I used some leftover shell buttons I had in my stash) tapestry needle Crochet hook (optional) Cover: Using a provisional cast on, cast on 12 stitches. Work in garter st until liner measures

One-Skein Pyrenees Scarf knitting pattern

I got into using antique patterns when I was making the scarf my hero wears in my Regency romance, The Spinster’s Christmas . I wanted to do another pattern which I think was in use in the Regency period, the Pyrenees Knit Scarf on pages 36-38 of The Lady's Assistant for Executing Useful and Fancy Designs in Knitting, Netting, and Crochet Work, volume 1, by Jane Gaugain, published in 1840. She is thought to be the first person to use knitting abbreviations, at least in a published book, although they are not the same abbreviations used today (our modern abbreviations were standardized by Weldon’s Practical Needlework in 1906). Since the book is out of copyright, you can download a free PDF copy of the book at Archive.org. I found this to be a fascinating look at knitting around the time of Jane Austen’s later years. Although the book was published in 1840, many of the patterns were in use and passed down by word of mouth many years before that, so it’s possible these are

Rules, rules, rules

Captain's Log, Stardate 09.09.2009 Well, I have discovered that I need to comply with California law in order to do my book giveaways. Who knew there were so many rules? It doesn’t really affect you guys much, except that I can no longer mail the books internationally . Sorry, guys, but I really don’t relish spending any time in prison. Here’s the new rules, effective for any give away on this blog, in my newsletter , or on my website after September 9th, 2009: Disclaimer: 1. No purchase necessary to enter any give aways given on this blog (http://camys-loft.blogspot.com/), in my newsletter (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Camys_Loft), or on my website (http://www.camytang.com/). The give away will end on the date stated in the posting. The opportunity to play may be affected by local ability to access the Internet at any particular time. The odds of winning depend upon the number of participants. 2. Open to all readers, 18 years or older who are legally allowed to participate in su

Gerard's Red and Black Scarf

For fun, I decided to knit the Regency scarf that Gerard, my hero, gives to my heroine in my Christmas short novel, The Spinster's Christmas . I can’t remember if I posted the finished scarf on my blog, including any changes I made to the pattern, so here it is. I chose A Gentleman’s Comforter from The Ladies’ Knitting and Netting Book, First Series by Miss Watts, originally published in 1837. You can download the .pdf of the Fifth Edition, with additions, which was published in 1840 . I’m pretty sure this pattern was in use in the Regency, because most patterns had been passed down by word of mouth long before they were published. So Jane Austen could have gotten this pattern from a friend or family member and used it when making a scarf for her father. :) Here’s the original pattern: I wasn't entirely certain what “coarse steel needles” and “5 skeins of fine wool yarn” mean, so I just guessed. I used US 1 needles and fingering weight wool yarn, but you could use a

Blogging with beauty when you're loud and tactless

Captain’s Log, Stardate 07.25.2006 I'm gone to RWA National conference : This might be my last post for the rest of the week, depending on if I can get internet access at my hotel. Blog book giveaway: My Thursday book giveaway is WEB OF LIES by Brandilyn Collins . My Monday book giveaway is BE MY NEAT-HEART by Judy Baer . You can still enter both giveaways. Just post a comment on each of those blog posts. I won’t be drawing a winner this Thursday, but on Monday, July 31st, I'll draw the winner for BE MY NEAT-HEART and post the title for another book I'm giving away. Blame Mary: My beautiful friend Mary DeMuth is hosting a “Carnival of Beauty” on Wednesday. I’m not really sure what that means, but she asked me to join so I said “Cool!” The theme is “The Beauty of Blogging.” Now blogging I could talk about all day! Blogging is beautiful for people like me who can’t shut up. Maybe it’s ego-centric. I mean, blogging is uncensored, unedited writing/ranting/complaining/crowin

Gerard's scarf & Prelude winners!

I finished Gerard’s scarf! It’s lovely and squishy. Here’s the link to my Ravelry project page if you’re interested. And the winners are: The winner of Gerard’s scarf and a copy of Prelude for a Lord is: Cathy B. (Oklahoma) The winners of a copy of Prelude for a Lord are: Cora B. (Ohio) DeVorah B. (Georgia) Breanna D. (California) Deidre D. (Georgia) Carol G. (Oklahoma) Janka H. (Slovakia) Deborah K. (Virginia) Cheri O. (Kentucky) Sara W. (Virginia) Joan W. (Florida) Congratulations! I’ve emailed you. If you didn’t receive my email, or if I didn’t respond to YOUR reply, please contact me through my website , Facebook , or Twitter . My email has been a bit wonky lately. I know that the rest of you are crying into your Regency White Soup that you didn’t win. Cheer up and buy the book! Buy links are below. Buy print book: Amazon Barnes and Noble Christianbook.com Buy ebook: Kindle iBooks Kobo Nookbook Christianbook.com Prelude for a Lord

Search This Blog

Lady Wynwood #7 early release Kickstarter