Monday, May 02, 2011

The Hormone Hostage

Captain's Log, Stardate 05.02.2011

I was looking through some of my old posts that I never actually posted and came across this piece of genius, which I got a loooooong time ago from my friend Winter Peck. Winter just got contracted!!! Woohoo!!! so I figured this was as good a time as any to finally post this. Many of you have probably seen this already, but it always makes me smile when I read it.


The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life into his own hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, coworker, or significant other.

Alternatives to the questions listed below:

SAFER: The 1st alternative question listed below
SAFEST: The 2nd alternative question below
ULTRA SAFE: The 3rd alternative question below

What’s for dinner?

Can I help you with dinner?
Where would you like to go for dinner?
Here, have some wine.

Are you wearing that?

Wow, you sure look good in brown!
Look at you! Here, have some wine.

What are you so worked up about?

Could we be overreacting?
Here’s my paycheck.
Here, have some wine.

Should you be eating that:

You know, there are a lot of apples left.
Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
Here, have some wine.

What did you do all day?

I hope you didn’t over-do it today.
I’ve always loved you in that robe.
Here, have some wine.

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