The Hormone Hostage

Captain's Log, Stardate 05.02.2011

I was looking through some of my old posts that I never actually posted and came across this piece of genius, which I got a loooooong time ago from my friend Winter Peck. Winter just got contracted!!! Woohoo!!! so I figured this was as good a time as any to finally post this. Many of you have probably seen this already, but it always makes me smile when I read it.

THE HORMONE HOSTAGE

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life into his own hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, coworker, or significant other.

Alternatives to the questions listed below:

SAFER: The 1st alternative question listed below
SAFEST: The 2nd alternative question below
ULTRA SAFE: The 3rd alternative question below

What’s for dinner?

Answers:
Can I help you with dinner?
Where would you like to go for dinner?
Here, have some wine.

Are you wearing that?

Answers:
Wow, you sure look good in brown!
Wow!
Look at you! Here, have some wine.

What are you so worked up about?

Answers:
Could we be overreacting?
Here’s my paycheck.
Here, have some wine.

Should you be eating that:

Answers:
You know, there are a lot of apples left.
Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
Here, have some wine.

What did you do all day?

Answers:
I hope you didn’t over-do it today.
I’ve always loved you in that robe.
Here, have some wine.

Comments

No Cold Bums toilet seat cover

Captain's Log, Stardate 08.22.2008 I actually wrote out my pattern! I was getting a lot of hits on my infamous toilet seat cover , and I wanted to make a new one with “improvements,” so I paid attention and wrote things down as I made the new one. This was originally based off the Potty Mouth toilet cover , but I altered it to fit over the seat instead of the lid. Yarn: any worsted weight yarn, about 120 yards (this is a really tight number, I used exactly 118 yards. My suggestion is to make sure you have about 130 yards.) I suggest using acrylic yarn because you’re going to be washing this often. Needle: I used US 8, but you can use whatever needle size is recommended by the yarn you’re using. Gauge: Not that important. Mine was 4 sts/1 inch in garter stitch. 6 buttons (I used some leftover shell buttons I had in my stash) tapestry needle Crochet hook (optional) Cover: Using a provisional cast on, cast on 12 stitches. Work in garter st until liner measures

I joined Sweet Romance Reads!

I just joined Sweet Romance Reads, a group of authors who all write sweet romances in a variety of sub-genres. I’m friends with several of the authors from my days writing for Harlequin/Love Inspired, so it’s nice to be able to join their group. If you’re on Facebook, this is their Facebook page , and this is their Facebook group . I posted my introductory post yesterday on the Sweet Romance Reads blog (Blogger), where I listed three strange things about me. Click here to read the post, and tell me three strange things about you!

ひとり寿司第２２章パート３

「ひとり寿司」をブログに連載します！ひとり寿司寿司シリーズの第一作キャミー・タング西島美幸訳スポーツ狂のレックス・坂井 —— いとこのマリコが数ヶ月後に結婚することにより、「いとこの中で一番年上の独身女性」という内輪の肩書を「勝ち取る」ことについては、あまり気にしていない。コントロールフリークの祖母を無視するのは容易だ —— しかし、祖母は最終通告を出した —— マリコの結婚式までにデート相手を見つけなければ、無慈悲な祖母は、レックスがコーチをしている女子バレーボールチームへの資金供給を切ると言う。ダグアウトにいる選手全員とデートに出かけるほど絶望的なわけではない。レックスは、バイブルスタディで読んだ「エペソの手紙」をもとに「最高の男性」の条件の厳しいリストを作った。バレーボールではいつも勝つ —— ゲームを有利に進めれば、必ず成功するはずだ。そのとき兄は、クリスチャンではなく、アスリートでもなく、一見何の魅力もないエイデンを彼女に引き合わせる。エイデンは、クリスチャンではないという理由で離れていったトリッシュという女の子から受けた痛手から立ち直ろうとしている。そして、レックスが（１）彼に全く興味がないこと、（２）クリスチャンであること、（３）トリッシュのいとこであることを知る。あの狂った家族とまた付き合うのはごめんだ。まして、偽善的なクリスチャンの女の子など、お断り。彼はマゾヒストじゃない。レックスは時間がなくなってきた。いくら頑張っても、いい人は現れない。それに、どこへ行ってもエイデンに遭遇する。あのリストはどんどん長くなっていくばかり —— 過去に掲載済みのストーリーのリンクはこちらです。 *** ＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊父に白い封筒を渡される前から、レックスの心臓は張り裂けていた——冷たい日本海で真っ二つに分かれる氷河のように、耳をつんざくような鋭い音がする。（あなたを、ワサマタユ・スポーツクラブの男女混合および女子バレーボールチームに受け入れます……）その手紙にきちんと折り目をつけて、封筒の中に戻した。そして、膝を上げて横になっているソファの隣に置かれた、コーヒーテーブルに手紙を落とした。彼女の入部を伝えるために、その日の午前中、ダレンから電話があった。「ダレ

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