Tuesday, April 14, 2009

New book idea a la Captain Caffeine

Captain's Log, Stardate 04.14.2009

So my husband, Captain Caffeine, had lunch with a few friends a few days ago. And they asked about my writing, and if I’d been on Oprah yet.

(Yeah, right)

They then discussed NYT bestselling books, and why can’t Camy write a NYT bestseller.

(Sure, let me just open a vein over a blank page and it’ll come right out.)

So Captain Caffeine came home with ideas for my new NYT bestselling novel.

First it starts with vampires, because Twilight is so hot.

But not just any vampires. This one’s an Amish vampire.

And he’s not just an Amish vampire, he’s a cop in disguise, infiltrating the Amish community to protect a witness.

(Hmm, that storyline sounds familiar ...)

But wait! There’s more!

To add more conflict and stick with my brand of Asian fiction, we introduce the Tibetan monk! Who joins the Amish community to get away from the pressures of monkhood.

But in reality, he’s protecting the Chinese princess on the run, trying to escape from her father’s Hong Kong triad, pursued by assassins.

And since the triad assassins have guns, the Tibetan monk teaches the Amish community kung fu to protect themselves.

Bullets versus kung fu! Who will prevail????

Possible titles were discussed, and since this is turning out to be an action novel, all the title ideas had the Steven Seagal trademark of two or three one-syllable (or two-syllable) words:

Deadly Hoe
Nowhere to Plough
Amish Justice
Black Soil

What do you think?


  1. wow sounds like quite an interesting story will it be starring Jackie Chan, Keanu Reeves, Jessica Simpson and Orlando Bloom and coming to a cinema near you! :)

  2. ROTFLMHO!!! Wait, I need to catch my breath!

    Oh, woo hoo, that's funny. That sounds almost like my husband. He came up with this great idea for me a few years back that I nixed quickly, something about Martin Luther.

    But my favorite all-time story, a quote by him when he realized just how good of a writer I am. "Honey, you need to do this for a living."

    ME: "Do what?"

    DH: "Make stupid people sound smart on paper."

  3. I think you just gotta work a dog in there someplace and you're a shoe-in!

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  5. Now why isn't Capt'n Caffine writing fiction? Or at least screenplays?

    I sense an unfulfilled calling here.

    On a side note, my e-mail is still defunct, so to answer your question: the eagle has landed.

  6. LOL, that is hilarious.

    I vote for a cameo of characters from your Sushi books...

  7. I like Amish Justice, especially if you try to say it seven times really fast.

  8. I'm telling you....this storyline WILL work

  9. Hehe, nice!

    I think the second title there has a nice ring to it...

  10. Hey! The Captain stopped by! How cool!

    You guys are cracking me up! It's amazing what ideas flow out of too much caffeine and not enough sleep.


  11. Hahahaha!!! Best thing I've heard/read all day!!

    My vote is for "Nowhere To Plough"!

  12. ROTFL!!! I love Deadly Hoe. It'll take a double meaning if you put a prostitute in there somewhere. LOL! This is just too funny. You're hubby gets high marks for humor.

  13. Where's the cowboy? He could ride in on his white stallion and rescue the princess!

  14. Wow, sounds awesome!!!!

    I like Deadly Hoe as the title.

  15. Camy:
    I think El Capitan needs to write his own book. He'll soon see what a piece of cake it is!

  16. Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh. You should write a Vampire book - but Amish, with Ninjas? Sounds like something my teens would come up with! lol

  17. Wait a minute. This is a joke? Darn it. See, I'm the kind of guy who actually buys Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (I'm half way done). So Deadly Hoe sounds like it could be a real book to me.

  18. Camy, I'd love to read Cheryl's book. Please enter me in the drawing. Thanks!

  19. Wow!! I had no idea the Captain was so brilliant (at things other than making the perfect cup of coffee, of course!). Ya know, I know an agent who is looking for something just like this! It would totally sell!

  20. Hilarious! So glad I caught this post.

  21. Captain Caffeine has got to be an engineer. Sounds like ideas I would get from my husband (marine mechanical engineer) and daughter (electrical engineering student)!

  22. I love it! lol i vote for "Nowhere to Plough"! i can't wait until it comes out! Go Camy!

  23. Crouching Quilter, Hidden Fang.