Sleezy Dippin Dunkin

Captain's Log, Stardate 03.30.2009

I got this from Pam Hillman. She is Sleezy Farkletush.

My NEW NAME IS IN THE SUBJECT LINE. DON'T LAUGH UNTIL YOU FIND OUT WHAT YOUR NEW NAME IS

The following is excerpted from a children's book, Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...

So:-

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = d orfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:
a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscui ts
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = s prinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

Thus, for example, George W.. Bush's new name is: Fluffy Chucklefanny.

What are you???