Skip to main content

Happy Girls' Day!

I realize it’s not a traditional hinamatsuri photo, but I couldn’t help it, the cat was so cute! Happy Girls’ Day!

Politeness or comfortableness?

Captain's Log, Stardate 01.08.2008

I'm in an emotional quandary.

I offered to do something for a friend. She said, "Great!" and gave me the info I'd need.

No "thanks," "thank you," etc.

Am I just too old-fashioned, that I expect a "thank you" if someone offers to do something for you?

It also occurred to me that maybe this friend feels so comfortable with me, she assumes she doesn't need to say thanks, that I already know she's thankful.

But something in me just wars against that kind of thinking. I don't care how comfortable you are with me, or how long we've been friends--I want a polite "thank you" if I'm doing you a favor.

What do you guys think? How do you teach your kids about stuff like this?


Ausjenny said…
Camy I dont have kids but i do think a thankyou would be appropiate.
If i ask someone to do something for me i always say thanks. its something thats just manners.
even if you are very comfortable with others manners doesn't hurt and is often more so.
Sheryl said…
"Thank you" is always appropriate, and it's sad that in our society today it seems to be the exception and not the rule to say "thanks."

So, while I'm on the subject ... thanks for the great blog posts Camy! You always make my day :-)
Melissa Markham said…
Camy, thank you is always appropriate. After Christmas and Birthdays, the children and I write thank you notes and before we go to any gift giving function I always remind them to say thank you and be appreciative whether they like the gift or not.
Geekwif said…
"Thank you" is always important, perhaps even more so with someone close to you. Seems to me a lack of appreciation for a kind deed done may just be one of the (many) problems plaguing our society today. (Don't even get me started on entitlement!)

Maybe she's figuring she'll thank you when the deed is done, but she should be appreciative of the offer as well.
Delia said…
I agree with everyone else. A "thank you" is always a good thing. No matter how comfortable you are with someone, it's nice to show them that you appreciate what they're doing/have done for you or just plain ol' appreciate them.

I'm a mean mom. If someone gives something to my children and they don't say "thank you", I gently remind them. Still no "thank you", I firmly remind them. After that, if they still don't say it, I make them give their gift back. If they don't/can't appreciate it, then they don't need it. I haven't had to do that in a loooonnng time though.
Becky said…
Camy, I was just thinking about this! I also recently offered to do something for an acquaintance. I didn't mind doing it, but it definitely required me to change my plans in order to help them out. But no thank you was uttered. I think gratitude is a form of love, like showing someone you appreciate who they are. When I have kids, you better believe they will be instructed in this form of politeness!
Anonymous said…
Hi, Camy. The good news is that each of us can stand out from the crowd with a simple "Thanks." And that's significant, because simple words like "sorry" and "thank you," or even just saying someone's name, make a big difference.

And on that note, thank you for writing about this. Good post.

PatriciaW said…
Camy, thank you is always appropriate. With my kids, we start them off with "please" and "thank you" as soon as they start talking, although it comes out more like "peas" or "beas" and "an u" at first.

But I also know, for myself who hustles and bustles from early AM to late PM every day, that occasionally I forget what my mother taught me. My mind is moving off to the next thing before I finish the last.

Usually I'll remember that I neglected my manners or a niggling question will make me wonder, in which case I'll back track and ask, "Did I say thank you? If not, I meant too. Thank you much." or simply "Just wanted to thank you for ..."

So perhaps it was simply an unintentional ommission, unless that person exhibits a pattern of neglect. I'm a big believer in "benefit of the doubt" until evidence suggests otherwise.

Thanks for an interesting topic!
Malia Spencer said…
Hmm, what a thing to think about. I know I've been guilty of unintentionally forgetting to say thank you, usually when I'm in a busy situation. When it occurs to me later, I'll say it but then again when things are ongoing I forget to say it because I assume the person already knows I'm grateful because I said it before. It also made me wonder if I've recently thanked my friends for being friends. Somehow I don't think so.

So here's part of it.

Camy, thank you for all the prayers, love and support over the years. You're a far better friend than I ever deserve, but I value you more than you'll ever know.
Ronie Kendig said…
Thank you is not only appropriate, it's considerate and shows respect. I, too, am sorry for the times I have not conveyed my gratitude. YOu are such a sweet, caring, giving person! (yes, I did say SWEET!).

Angie Poole said…
Luk 6:30 Give to everyone who asks from you, and from one who takes away your things, don't ask for them back.
Luk 6:31 Just as you want others to do for you, do the same for them.
Luk 6:32 If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.

Yeah, I'm still learning too.
Um, did I thank you for the book?!? 'Cause I'm, like, totally thankful! :-)
Julie Carobini said…
Yeah, I'm kind of a thank you fiend. But I admit that my bff and I have had a deal ever since our kids were babies (and now two each our teens) that we didn't have to send thank yous for presents. Although it's a nec. thing for polite society, we wanted to save each other the trouble. We don't even clean our houses when the other comes over.

So maybe this friend thinks he/she is your bff? :))
Anonymous said…
As a teacher, I think Thank you's are very important and try to send Thank You notes to my students whenever they bring something to show appreciation. It's a big job, especially on holidays, but that's how important I think it is! It's setting an example of gratitude and thanksgiving which is definitely a Biblical principle. ("In EVERYTHING give thanks..." - even to good friends!)

Popular Posts

Bethany House Publishers Cover Survey Invitation

Captain's Log, Supplemental I just got this from Bethany House Publishers: Hello Reader, We at Bethany House Publishers appreciate our readers opinions about the books we publish. Occasionally, we seek your input about upcoming products. Currently, we are conducting a survey about the cover image for an upcoming novel. For your time, we are offering a giveaway in conjunction with this survey. You will be able to choose from ten recent Bethany House novels, and there will be ten winners. Winners will be notified within two weeks. Click here to take the survey, which should take about 10 minutes to complete. Thank you for your participation, and feel free to forward this email on to your friends or link the survey on your website. The survey will be available through Monday, September 17. Thanks for your time and your opinions. We value your feedback. Sincerely, Jim Hart Internet Marketing Manager Bethany House Publishers

Year of the Dog serial novel

About Year of the Dog : A month or two ago, I remembered an old manuscript I had completed but which hadn’t sold. It was a contemporary romance meant for Zondervan, titled Year of the Dog . The book had gone into the pipeline and I even got another title ( Bad Dog ) and a cover for it, but eventually my editor at the time decided she didn’t want to publish it, for various reasons. She instead requested a romantic suspense, and so I cannibalized some of the characters from Year of the Dog and thrust them into the next book I wrote, which was Protection for Hire . Honestly, I didn’t take a lot from Year of the Dog to put in Protection for Hire , aside from character names and a few relationship ties. I was originally thinking I’d post Year of the Dog as-is on my blog as a free read, but then it occurred to me that I could revamp it into a romantic suspense and change the setting to Hawaii. It would work out perfectly as (yet another) prequel to the Warubozu series and introduc

Grace Livingston Hill romances free to read online

I wanted to update my old post on Grace Livingston Hill romances because now there are tons more options for you to be able to read her books for free online! I’m a huge Grace Livingston Hill fan. Granted, not all her books resonate with me, but there are a few that I absolutely love, like The Enchanted Barn and Crimson Roses . And the best part is that she wrote over 100 books and I haven’t yet read them all! When I have time, I like to dive into a new GLH novel. I like the fact that most of them are romances, and I especially appreciate that they all have strong Christian themes. Occasionally the Christian content is a little heavy-handed for my taste, but it’s so interesting to see what the Christian faith was like in the early part of the 20th century. These books are often Cinderella-type stories or A Little Princess (Frances Hodgson Burnett) type stories, which I love. And the best part is that they’re all set in the early 1900s, so the time period is absolutely fasci

Year of the Dog serial novel, chapter 22

I’m posting a Humorous Christian Romantic Suspense serial novel here on my blog! Year of the Dog is a (second) prequel to my Warubozu Spa Chronicles series. Year of the Dog serial novel by Camy Tang Mari Mutou, a professional dog trainer, is having a bad year. While renovating her new dog kenneling and training facility, she needs to move in with her disapproving family, who have always made her feel inadequate—according to them, a job requiring her to be covered in dog hair and slobber is an embarrassment to the family. She convinces her ex-boyfriend to take her dog for a few months … but discovers that his brother is the irate security expert whose car she accidentally rear-ended a few weeks earlier. Ashwin Keitou has enough problems. His aunt has just shown up on his doorstep, expecting to move in with him, and he can’t say no because he owes her everything—after his mother walked out on them, Auntie Nell took in Ashwin and his brother and raised them in a loving Chri

Clean & Christian Romance Book Sale

I’m participating in this promo. Click on the graphic to check out all the Christian suspense books available and stuff your eBook reader! Clean & Christian Romance Book Sale

Cupid's Library Escape

Sign up for these authors’ newsletters and get free books! Click on the graphic to check out all the free books. You might find a new favorite author! Cupid's Library Escape

No Cold Bums toilet seat cover

Captain's Log, Stardate 08.22.2008 I actually wrote out my pattern! I was getting a lot of hits on my infamous toilet seat cover , and I wanted to make a new one with “improvements,” so I paid attention and wrote things down as I made the new one. This was originally based off the Potty Mouth toilet cover , but I altered it to fit over the seat instead of the lid. Yarn: any worsted weight yarn, about 120 yards (this is a really tight number, I used exactly 118 yards. My suggestion is to make sure you have about 130 yards.) I suggest using acrylic yarn because you’re going to be washing this often. Needle: I used US 8, but you can use whatever needle size is recommended by the yarn you’re using. Gauge: Not that important. Mine was 4 sts/1 inch in garter stitch. 6 buttons (I used some leftover shell buttons I had in my stash) tapestry needle Crochet hook (optional) Cover: Using a provisional cast on, cast on 12 stitches. Work in garter st until liner measures

Cover Reveals!

Here are the covers to my next books! Spinster will be the 7th volume in my Lady Wynwood’s Spies series. I don’t yet have a release date because I’m still writing it and it’s taking a bit longer than I had anticipated, but within the next few months, I’m pretty sure. This is the cover for Lissa and the Spy, a novella I’m writing that will be in Once Upon a Courtship , a multi-author box set releasing in October this year. You can preorder Once Upon a Courtship now for only 99 cents! And then click here for how you can get additional free Christian romance ebooks! When the box set is unpublished in January 2025, I’ll release Lissa and the Spy as a separate ebook. I’m thinking that I might make it only available to my newsletter subscribers, and if that’s the case, be sure to subscribe to my newsletter so you can download it for free. But that wouldn’t be until spring of next year. In the meantime, preorder Once Upon a Courtship!

A List of my Free Blog Reads

Curious about what my writing is like? Here’s a list of all my free books and the free short stories, novellas, and novels that you can read here on my blog. I’ll update this post as I add more free reads. Christian Humorous Romantic Suspense: Year of the Dog (Warubozu Spa Chronicles series, Prequel novel) (Currently being posted monthly on my blog as a serial novel) Marisol Mutou, a professional dog trainer, finally has a chance to buy a facility for her business, but her world is upended when she must move in with her disapproving family, who have always made her feel inadequate. When she stumbles upon a three-year-old missing persons case, security expert Ashwin Keitou, whose car she accidentally rear-ended a few weeks earlier, is tasked with protecting her. However, danger begins to circle around them from people who want the past to remain there. Can they shed light on the secrets moving in the shadows? Christian Romantic Suspense: Necessary Proof (Sonoma series #4.1, n

Cleo’s Drawstring Purse knitting pattern w/ @KnitPicks CotLin

Kari Trumbo is one of the twelve authors who participated with me in the Christian Contemporary Romance anthology, Save the Date . Kari’s novella in the anthology is titled January Hope . In celebration, I wrote a knitting pattern for the lace drawstring purse used by Kari’s heroine, Cleo. (In case you missed it, here are the links for my interview with Kari part 1 and part 2 . Tomorrow I’ll post an excerpt of one of Kari’s other books, Better Than First .) This is a pretty and practical little bag used by the heroine Cleo in Kari Trumbo’s novella, January Hope . Knit in a cotton/linen blend yarn, it’s just large enough for a cell phone and a small wallet. In the book, Cleo’s bag was a coral shade, but the bag I knit here is a chocolate brown color. The lace pattern is the Double Rose Leaf stitch pattern originally published on page 195 in The Lady's Assistant, volume 2 by Mrs. Jane Gaugain, published in 1847. ( You can download a scanned .pdf of the book from Archive.