Captain's Log, Stardate 10.31.2005
Happy Halloween! I'm filching--er, giving away candy at the front door to all these kids. (The Butterfinger Crisp bars are GOOD.)
I just emailed Dee about something that's been bugging me--as I do the rewrites for my suspense, I'm feeling insecure. I got great feedback from Wendy and those authors' scoresheets, so I know what I'd like to do, but I'm having a hard time feeling confident that I can do it.
Please, no fuzzy-wuzzy cyber-hugs or anything like that. This isn't something I need encouragement about. I need to sharpen my focus, sift through all I've learned from books, articles, and workshops. Most of all, I need to pray.
I know my insecurity often comes from Satan. I give in too easily. I was even expecting it, ever since the ACFW conference. I can't shake it. It's like flapping your hand to get gunk off your fingers, but it's too sticky to let loose.
I need to trust God, who has my writing career in His hands, after all. If I'm not ready, I'm not ready. I'm okay with that. I have to trust God to help me with this, it's not something I can do on my own.