Skip to main content

Fear

Captain's Log, Stardate 07.09.2005

Okay, I should be writing but I'd like to share this.

The past three days I did some intense praying about my job. My friend Marilyn Hilton pointed out something I hadn't realized I was doing--praying out of fear.

Fear that I wasn't hearing God. Fear that I hadn't truly submitted myself to Him. Fear that I was worshiping my own desires as idols. Fear that I would choose a course out of His will. Fear that I'd disappoint Him.

The funny thing is, a few months ago my friend Sharon Hinck noticed I was doing the same thing--praying out of fear. I honestly didn't think I was fearful. But maybe it's that I don't have a complete understanding of God's LOVE. Not that I could ever truly understand His love, but maybe I don't even have a grasp of the finger of His love I could comprehend.

The past few weeks, God has been revealing to me just how much He really does love me--me specifically. Out of everyone in the world He knows and cares about me. He is so overwhelmingly loving that it brings me to tears when I can feel His presence during my prayers.

After realizing I was praying out of fear, my prayers changed. I didn't suddenly hear God's booming voice about my job direction, but I did feel more at peace.

I need to work on this fear thing, and this love thing.

I didn't get clear direction, but I did get snippets of things from my time with God. Lots of verses on how He will provide abundantly, give me the desires of my heart. (That was rather exciting!) And lots of verses on patience, waiting on the Lord. (Okay, not so exciting.)

I also heard a clear voice in my ear: "Come out from them and be separate." It could mean several things, I'll need to pray more. Please pray with me.

So I think I'll wait until after the conference in Reno before I do anything about work. Also, CBA is this coming week, I believe. I'll see if anything comes up from that.

One great thing I realized from this time of prayer is that I need to do this more often. Spending dedicated time with God refreshed me far beyond what I expected. I wonder if I can do something like this once a month from now on. I think I'll try.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I've always wondered, does God hear "silent prayers", i.e. where I'm praying in my mind while driving, riding on the bus, lying in bed, etc? I hope so, since a majority of my prayers are done that way. :-I

btw, I stumbled onto your blog,
and have enjoyed reading, esp.
from other Asian Christians.


Ann
Camy Tang said…
Hi Ann!

I definitely think God hears our silent (or even distracted!) prayers. As the culture becomes more hyper-stimulated, people become more frantic, but God keeps up with us. He wouldn't be God if He didn't.

Thanks for visiting my blog!

Camy
Anonymous said…
Wow, what a fast response! :-)

I've always wondered, if there was
a "right" way to pray, i.e. must
it be done by saying words out loud, but it's nice to know that God is listening when I "speak" to Him in my mind. (I'm a non-denominatinal
Christian).

btw, also, reading your blog
is inspiring. Keep up the good work!

Take care, Ann
Camy Tang said…
LOL--how neat we're online the same time.

Don't get me wrong, God does want dedicated prayer time from us. Just recently, my youth group pastor has been working on upping his prayer life, because he knows God can work more powerfully through him and in the entire youth group when he's got that strong prayer line to heaven.

I try to spend some time in quiet prayer with God each day. It really does help me physically, emotionally, and spiritually when I take time out of the busy-ness to stop, listen, and chat with Him. It's just that with the days filling up with more stuff to do, I often rely on "drive-by" prayers, too. :)

Camy

Popular Posts

Interview with Tamara Leigh

Captain's Log, Stardate 03.13.2006 Multi-published Tamara Leigh has shifted from Medieval romances to chick-lit! Her newest book is STEALING ADDA published by NavPress. It had been a long time since New York Times best-selling author -- and historical romance writer extraordinaire -- Adda Sinclaire had experienced more than a fictional dose of romance, but when publisher Nick Farnsworth walks into her life, everything changes. Life for Adda ironically reads more like a country song than a bodice-bursting, breathless affair. For starters, she has no actual romance in her life. That might have something to do with the fact that her husband -- correction-EX husband -- ran off with Stick Woman, whom everyone knew would never be more than a mid-list author anyway. To add insult to injury (and another verse to the country song), he not only took their dog but gave it to her. If this isn't enough, Adda's come down with a horrible case of writer's block and finds h

In-N-Out from A DANGEROUS STAGE

Source: tumblr.com via Camy on Pinterest In-N-Out, one of my fav burger joints, makes an appearance in the first chapter of A Dangerous Stage . It's a chain on the West Coast and Hawaii, I'm not sure how far east they have restaurants. They don't freeze any of their food, it's all fresh, including the buns and the french fries. When you order, you can see them use this french fry hand-crank machine to make their fries, it's pretty cool. The specific restaurant in A Dangerous Stage doesn't exist at that location, but there's a couple of them near me and I go there way too often than is good for me, but it's oh-so-yummy!

No Cold Bums toilet seat cover

Captain's Log, Stardate 08.22.2008 I actually wrote out my pattern! I was getting a lot of hits on my infamous toilet seat cover , and I wanted to make a new one with “improvements,” so I paid attention and wrote things down as I made the new one. This was originally based off the Potty Mouth toilet cover , but I altered it to fit over the seat instead of the lid. Yarn: any worsted weight yarn, about 120 yards (this is a really tight number, I used exactly 118 yards. My suggestion is to make sure you have about 130 yards.) I suggest using acrylic yarn because you’re going to be washing this often. Needle: I used US 8, but you can use whatever needle size is recommended by the yarn you’re using. Gauge: Not that important. Mine was 4 sts/1 inch in garter stitch. 6 buttons (I used some leftover shell buttons I had in my stash) tapestry needle Crochet hook (optional) Cover: Using a provisional cast on, cast on 12 stitches. Work in garter st until liner measures

Sweet & Clean Christmas Romance sale

I’m participating in the Sweet & Clean Christmas Romance sale. Check out all the sweet/clean romance books available and stuff your eBook reader! Sweet & Clean Christmas Romance

99c Squeaky Clean Christmas Romance sale

I’m participating in the 99c Squeaky Clean Christmas Romance sale. Check out all the sweet/clean romance books available and stuff your eBook reader! 99c Squeaky Clean Christmas Romance

Year of the Dog serial novel

About Year of the Dog : A month or two ago, I remembered an old manuscript I had completed but which hadn’t sold. It was a contemporary romance meant for Zondervan, titled Year of the Dog . The book had gone into the pipeline and I even got another title ( Bad Dog ) and a cover for it, but eventually my editor at the time decided she didn’t want to publish it, for various reasons. She instead requested a romantic suspense, and so I cannibalized some of the characters from Year of the Dog and thrust them into the next book I wrote, which was Protection for Hire . Honestly, I didn’t take a lot from Year of the Dog to put in Protection for Hire , aside from character names and a few relationship ties. I was originally thinking I’d post Year of the Dog as-is on my blog as a free read, but then it occurred to me that I could revamp it into a romantic suspense and change the setting to Hawaii. It would work out perfectly as (yet another) prequel to the Warubozu series and introduc

Clean Romance Deals

I’m participating in the Clean Romance Deals sale. Check out all the sweet/clean romance books available and stuff your eBook reader! Clean Romance Deals

Daniel 9:9

Dear Lord, Thank you for being so merciful and forgiving to us no matter what we’ve done or where we’ve been. Thank you for loving us so much, even when we find it hard to love ourselves. Even if we have rejected you, you still reach out to us and want us to come to you for love and comfort and forgiveness. Thank you for your magnificent grace. Amen 主よ、 私たちが何をしようと、どこにいようと、私たちを憐れみ、赦してくださりありがとうございます。私たちが自分自身を愛することが難しいときでさえ、私たちをこんなにも愛してくださってありがとうございます。たとえ私たちがあなたを拒んだとしても、あなたは私たちに手を差し伸べ、愛と慰めと赦しを求めてあなたのもとに来ることを望んでくださいます。あなたの素晴らしい恵みに感謝します。 アーメン

Last chance! Jane Austen sweepstakes

Last chance! Win a Library of 30 Historical Romance Novels + Jane Austen Swag Worth $250! This is a delightful surprise I've been eager to share! Join me and 30 extraordinary authors in an enchanting giveaway where we're gifting a vast array of historical romance novels to two fortunate winners! And the cherry on top: The Grand Prize winner will be treated to an exclusive Jane Austen swag pack, worth an impressive $250! You'll get the chance to win a copy of my book, Lady Wynwood’s Spies, volume 1: Archer, as well as novels from renowned authors like Laura Beers and Kasey Stockton. (Please be aware that not all the historical novels in this giveaway are Christian or sweet.) To enter, simply click the magical link below. Wishing you the best of luck and a journey filled with delightful reads! Join Our Giveaway

Grace Livingston Hill romances free to read online

I wanted to update my old post on Grace Livingston Hill romances because now there are tons more options for you to be able to read her books for free online! I’m a huge Grace Livingston Hill fan. Granted, not all her books resonate with me, but there are a few that I absolutely love, like The Enchanted Barn and Crimson Roses . And the best part is that she wrote over 100 books and I haven’t yet read them all! When I have time, I like to dive into a new GLH novel. I like the fact that most of them are romances, and I especially appreciate that they all have strong Christian themes. Occasionally the Christian content is a little heavy-handed for my taste, but it’s so interesting to see what the Christian faith was like in the early part of the 20th century. These books are often Cinderella-type stories or A Little Princess (Frances Hodgson Burnett) type stories, which I love. And the best part is that they’re all set in the early 1900s, so the time period is absolutely fasci