Skip to main content

Interview - THE WEIGHT OF SHADOWS by Alison Strobel

Captain’s Log, Stardate 06.22.2010

The Weight of Shadows
by
Alison Strobel


In The Weight of Shadows, after a difficult childhood, Kim has built a successful life for herself ... but she'd leave it all if it meant being rid of the guilt she harbors over a tragic mistake she made years ago. When she meets Rick, she finds everything she needs---including a way to pay for her sins every time he hits her. Kim and Rick's new neighbor, Joshua, knows more than Kim realizes about Rick, but Joshua has battles of his own to fight. Soon to intersect Kim's and Rick's lives is Debbie, who has saved countless women from abuse through the shelter she runs, but Debbie might be as desperate for love as the women she serves. Meanwhile, as Rick's wrath extends to their baby, Kim must decide if her penance is more important than protecting that innocent life---and if she should dare leave Rick when he has the power to bring her hidden crime to light.

“Alison Strobel skillfully intersects the lives of three souls bearing the unfair weight of past wounds. Told with care and sensitivity, Alison capably delves into the often misunderstood cocoon of domestic abuse as well as the changing shape—and density—of personal loss. Well done.”
--Susan Meissner, author of The Shape of Mercy

“Alison Strobel has penned an important book about a battered woman’s psyche and the length God journeys to rescue her. Honest, painful, redemptive, The Weight of Shadows is the kind of gutsy novel book clubs enjoy discussing.”
--Mary DeMuth, author, Daisy Chain and A Slow Burn

Excerpt of chapter one:

One
Is it truly a birthday party when the guests don’t even know it’s
your birthday? Kim pondered the question as she slipped on the
slacks she’d borrowed from her roommate Corrie. Certainly it was
an improvement over eating a store-bought cupcake alone in front
of reruns. She’d done that more times than she cared to remember.
The intercom buzzed the arrival of the first guest. She spread
her hands over her stomach, willing death to the butterflies that
had come to life. She sucked in a deep breath and blew it away as she
put on her only pair of earrings and secured her locket around her
neck. Fingering the pendant brought to mind memories of the day
she’d received it. She replayed them in her mind, conjuring every
detail she could as she pulled a brush through her hair: the blanket
of snow on the bushes outside, Sinatra serenading the restaurant’s
customers, her foster parents ordering four desserts for everyone
to share when no one could decide what they wanted. That was the
last good birthday she’d had.

Corrie’s voice rang out over the stereo, welcoming whoever had
arrived and bringing Kim back to the present. She bit her lip, de-
bating whether or not to go out yet. These weren’t her friends, she
wasn’t good at small talk, and with only one guest there was no
way for her to disappear into the crowd or avoid interacting. Three
strikes. She’d better wait.

A pair of black flats, their toes and heels repaired with a marker,
were the finishing piece to her ensemble. She gave her red blouse a
tug at the bottom and examined herself in the mirror, happy with
what she saw. It was possible she wouldn’t talk to anyone all night,
but at least she looked nice. In fact, part of her hoped no one would
talk to her—she’d met a few of Corrie’s friends before, and they
were all out of her league. The thought of trying to hold a conver-
sation with any of them resurrected the butterflies. She frowned at
her reflection as the familiar self-doubt crept in. The less she said
tonight, the better.

Kim hated battling the voice of inadequacy that resurfaced
whenever she met new people. She reminded herself of the same
things she told her Club girls and gave her head a shake to dislodge
the negative thoughts. Your roots may form you, but they do not define
you. You are not less of a person because you lack the things most people
have. Your worth as a person is not determined by what you have, but
by who you are.
When she talked to the girls, she was referencing
money, social standing, academic success, the perfect body—the
things teen girls usually stressed over. When she gave herself the
pep talk, though, she was thinking of family.

The buzzer sounded again, followed a minute later by multiple
voices calling out cheerful greetings. No more hiding. Kim left her
room and joined the party.

Six people had arrived, an equal mix of men and women who
had the same casual sophistication as Corrie, though two of the
women had a sort of polished hippie look that Kim envied, know-
ing she lacked the fashion sense to be like them. Her coordinating
abilities ended with slacks and blouses.

Three of the guests sat on the couch, paging through one of
Corrie’s photo albums, while the others were filling their plates
with snacks. She flashed a smile to the one person who acknowl-
edged her arrival, then walked to the kitchen to get herself a drink.
She took her time so as not to look as harried and nervous as she
felt, and sighed with a small smile when the intercom buzzed again.
A bigger crowd meant easier hiding.

Corrie propped open the front door and returned to her conver-
sation. Kim walked to the snack table and began to load a plate with
some veggies and dip. She really wanted the chocolate chip cookies
Corrie had baked the night before, but she wanted to make a good
impression, and these folks looked like veggie people.

The next wave of guests entered, and instantly the party felt
more like a party. More talking, louder calls of “Hello!” across the
room, and, to Kim’s great relief, less sophisticated dress. The last
one in shut the door behind himself and handed his scuffed leather
jacket to Corrie as he greeted her. Kim couldn’t peel her eyes away
from him. He doesn’t seem to belong with these people any more than I
do. Who is he?


The guest who had entered with Scuffed Leather Jacket intro-
duced him to Corrie. Kim was too far away and the room too noisy
for her to hear any of what they were saying, but Corrie, ever the
gracious hostess, made the universal mi casa es su casa arm-sweep
with a bright smile before carting the coats to her bedroom.

He stood with his hands half-jammed into his pockets and
looked around the room. When his gaze neared Kim she ducked
her head, though what she really wanted was to look him in the eye,
smile and welcome him, and commiserate. When he appeared at her
side, she almost couldn’t breathe.

“The snack table is my favorite place to hide at a party too,” he
said. She couldn’t tell if he was sympathizing or making fun of her.
But his face, when she glanced over at him, was open and honest-
looking. There was no twinkle of teasing in his green eyes nor the
tug of a smirk at his lips. She laughed faintly and searched in vain
for something clever to say.

“My name is Rick, by the way.”

“I’m Kim. Nice to meet you.”

“You too. How do you know, um ...”

“Corrie?”

“Yeah, Corrie.”

“She’s my roommate.”

“Oh!” His face brightened. “Wow, this is your place?”

She slid her eyes back to her plate. “No. I wish. I just rent a room
from her.”

“Oh, that’s cool.” He leaned in a little closer. “It’s a nice place,
but not my style, you know? A little too ...” He waved the hand that
wasn’t holding a snack plate. “Calculated. Like those model homes
that are so decorated it’s like walking into a design magazine.”

Kim looked around the living room, trying to see it through
the eyes of a stranger. Corrie had added most of the room’s con-
tents since Kim had moved in, so the change had been so gradual
she hadn’t noticed the overall effect. “You know, you’re right.” She
grinned. “I’ve never thought about it, but you’re right.” She swirled
a carrot stick in a puddle of dip. “It’s not really my style, either, but
I’ll take it over just having a room any day.”

“I’m sure you’ll have your own place someday.”

She laughed a little. “I hope so!”

They crunched on their respective vegetables in silence for a few
minutes before Kim got up the courage to speak again. “So who did
you come with?”

Rick pointed to the couch with a celery stick. “Guy I work with.
Adam. I think he knows Corrie from college or something like that.
Life has kinda sucked lately, so he invited me to cheer me up.”

“That’s a shame. I hope it works.”

“It already has.”

Kim felt her cheeks heat. She smothered the smile that stretched
across her face with a long sip from her soda.

“That’s a really cool necklace.”

“Oh, thanks.” She pulled it along the chain a few times before
patting it back into place. “I got it for my seventeenth birthday.”

He grinned. “How long ago was that?”

“Seven years ago—today.” She almost didn’t say it, but his at-
tention was making her bolder. And it would take a lot of attention to
spoil me, so I’m going to get it while I can.


“No way. It’s your birthday?” She giggled in response, instantly
wincing inside at the childish sound. “So this is for you, then? This
party?”

“Oh, no. Corrie doesn’t even know.”

“Your own roommate doesn’t know it’s your birthday?”

She shuffled a little. “Well, we’re not really friends, you know?
I’ve only lived here a few months. I just found the room through an
ad. We share space—that’s about it.”

Rick shook his head. “That’s just a shame. So all these people—
just friends of Corrie’s?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re spending your birthday with a bunch of strangers.
That’s just wrong. I feel like I need to go find you a cake or some-
thing.” She laughed. “No, I’m serious! Did you do anything special
for your birthday? Did anyone acknowledge it?”

“Well—one person did.” She smiled, remembering her con-
versation with Patricia, the case worker who had shepherded her
through the foster system for so many years. “But no, I didn’t do
anything special. Just went to work like I usually do. But this—”
she waved her hand towards the room full of people, “is more than
I usually do. Birthdays weren’t a big deal when I was growing up.”

He didn’t ask why not, to her relief. But he asked plenty of other
things, and eventually she reciprocated. Over time they migrated to
the kitchen, and then to a couple dining room chairs in the corner.
When Adam came to say he was ready to leave, Kim was stunned
to see they’d talked for two hours.

“I’m really glad I came,” Rick said to Kim as he shrugged into
his jacket. “I’m glad I met you.”

“I’m glad you came too.” Her mouth hurt from smiling so much,
but she couldn’t seem to stop. “I had a great time talking with you.”

“Do you think I could take you out for dinner sometime?”

Her heart nearly burst. “Yes, definitely, yes. I’d love that.”

Rick smiled and ran a hand through his blond bedhead. “Great.
I’ll call you this week, I promise.”

***

“He’s totally not going to call.”

Corrie laughed as she spread plastic wrap over the bowl of dip.
“What makes you say that?”

“I don’t know—I just don’t think he will. I don’t have luck like
that.”

“Maybe you will now.”

“Maybe.” Kim cinched the trash bag shut and pulled it free from
the can. “But even if he doesn’t, it’s okay. I’ve never had that much
fun talking to a guy before. No one’s ever even flirted with me be-
fore.” Memories of her unattractive teen years surfaced briefly but
lacked the sting they usually held. Even thoughts of her life until
now—nights alone, undeclared infatuations, awkward introver-
sion—weren’t as painful. “I hardly knew what to do. But ...” She
trailed off, a smile still tugging at her lips, and carried the trash to
the door. “If nothing else, it was a perfect way to spend an evening.”
And a birthday.

Buy from Barnes and Noble
Buy from Christianbook.com
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Books a Million

And now, here’s me and Alison!

What inspired you to write The Weight of Shadows?

A few years ago a friend told me about a high school senior she knew who was involved in an accident with an off-duty policeman. He died in the accident, and even though he had been the one at fault, she was obviously devastated, and terrified that his family would blame her--she certainly blamed herself, even though the evidence showed the officer had been the one in the wrong. But when she met the man's wife, she was blown away by the grace the woman showed her. It made me wonder how her future would have been different had they not absolved her of her guilt. How would it affect her choices, her self-image, her faith? Those questions helped me form my original concept for the story.

The title is intriguing. What does it mean?

There are intangible things that have a profound effect on us. Guilt is one of them. It weighs on us, follows us, eats away at us, even when it's unfounded. All of the main characters in the book have the weight of their past actions on them, and those shadows have followed them have had a formative role in the choices they've made.

What do you hope your readers will take away from the book?

I think that people will get a lot of different things out of this book, depending on what's going on in their lives. But I think one of the main things that I came away with from writing the book is that forgiveness of ourselves is just as important to the health of our souls as forgiveness of others is.

If your heroine were a type of cake, what would she be and why?

Vanilla cake with chocolate frosting on the outside and strawberry filling between the layers.

What is your heroine's favorite song and why?

She's not a very musically-inclined person; she doesn't listen to music very often. But by the end of the book it's Amazing Grace. At the beginning, probably Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson.

You're off the hotseat! Any parting words?

Thanks for checking out the book and having me over to the loft, Camy! Don't forget to check out the other bloggers in the tour and to leave some comments so you'll be entered in the three book giveaway. :)

Camy here: Thanks so much for being here with me, Alison!

Want more book giveaways? Subscribe to my newsletter!

Comments

  1. This book sounds so intriguing and the book cover just pulls you in. You ask yourself, what is weight of shadows??

    Pls include me in the giveaway.

    Thanks for the great interview and excerpt.

    misskallie2000 at yahoo dot com

    ReplyDelete
  2. The answer about the meaning of the title was very interesting!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I enjoyed the interview with Alison and reading the first chapter of the book. I love the title and cover of the book. It really grabs your attention!

    Sheri

    hspruitt {at} juno DOT com

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular Posts

Laura’s Apricot Shell Shawl knitting pattern

I usually have a knitting project in mind when I write it into one of my books, but Laura’s apricot-colored shawl just kind of appeared upon the page as I was writing the first scene of Lady Wynwood’s Spies, volume 4: Betrayer , and it surprised even me. I immediately went to my yarn stash to find a yarn for it, and I searched through my antique knitting books to find some stitch patterns. I made her an elegant wool shawl she could wear at home. The shawl ended up tagging along with Laura into the next book, Lady Wynwood’s Spies, volume 5: Prisoner , where it imparts some comfort to her in her trying circumstances. The two stitch patterns are both from the same book, The Lady’s Assistant, volume 2 by Mrs. Jane Gaugain, published in 1842 . A couple excessively clever and creative knitters might have knit these patterns in the Regency era, but they would have only passed them around by word of mouth or scribbled “recipes” to friends or family, and it wouldn’t have been widely use

No Cold Bums toilet seat cover

Captain's Log, Stardate 08.22.2008 I actually wrote out my pattern! I was getting a lot of hits on my infamous toilet seat cover , and I wanted to make a new one with “improvements,” so I paid attention and wrote things down as I made the new one. This was originally based off the Potty Mouth toilet cover , but I altered it to fit over the seat instead of the lid. Yarn: any worsted weight yarn, about 120 yards (this is a really tight number, I used exactly 118 yards. My suggestion is to make sure you have about 130 yards.) I suggest using acrylic yarn because you’re going to be washing this often. Needle: I used US 8, but you can use whatever needle size is recommended by the yarn you’re using. Gauge: Not that important. Mine was 4 sts/1 inch in garter stitch. 6 buttons (I used some leftover shell buttons I had in my stash) tapestry needle Crochet hook (optional) Cover: Using a provisional cast on, cast on 12 stitches. Work in garter st until liner measures

Narrow Escape contest for January!

I’m so excited because my January Love Inspired Suspense, Narrow Escape , is now available! Here’s the back cover blurb: KIDNAPPED IN BROAD DAYLIGHT Arissa Tiong and her three-year-old niece are snatched off the street by members of a notorious drug gang. Having lost her police officer brother to a drug bust gone bad, Arissa knows the danger she's in. But she has no idea why they want her. Desperate to protect the little girl, Arissa escapes and runs straight to Nathan Fischer. She knows the handsome, weary former narcotics cop hasn't told her everything about the night that ended her brother's life and Nathan's career. But he's all that stands between her and dangerous thugs who are after something she doesn't even know she has. This is the 4th book in my Sonoma series , but each book is stand-alone. The hero is Nathan Fischer, who had a minor role in the 3rd book, Stalker in the Shadows . To celebrate, I’m giving away 10 copies of Narrow Escape ! Her

Keriah’s Pyrennees Shawl knitting pattern w/ @knitpicks Palette

Why I knit this shawl: I wanted to knit the sunset-colored shawl Keriah was wearing in chapter 5 of my book, Lady Wynwood’s Spies, volume 2: Berserker , so I looked for an antique pattern that might have been used during the Regency era. This one caught my eye, even though it was published in a knitting book a few decades later than the Regency era. The Spider-Net border pattern was most definitely in use in the Regency period, but it’s also remotely possible that the Alice-Maud stitch and the lacy border stitch patterns were also in use during the Regency, being passed on from knitter to knitter via hand-written receipts, by verbal instruction, or with knitted sampler squares (like how many Shetland lace patterns and Bavarian cable patterns were shared). My/Keriah’s version of this shawl would have been lacy but warm because it is knit with fingering yarn on small needles. Since Keriah was cold, I think she would have grabbed this shawl rather than something more elegant and airy.

Phoebe’s Muffatees knitting pattern

In Lady Wynwood’s Spies, volume 4: Betrayer , Phoebe wears a pair of lace muffatees, or gauntlets/arm-warmers that hide a rather deadly surprise. :) I actually got the idea of having her wear muffatees because I saw a lace manchette pattern in Miss Watts’ Ladies’ Knitting and Netting Book , published in 1840, page 20. However, after doing some research, I found that they were called muffatees in the Regency era, and the term manchette did not arise until a few years later. They were essentially arm-warmers worn under those long sleeves on day dresses, which were usually made of muslin too thin to be very warm. I decided to knit Phoebe’s muffatees using a Leaf Pattern originally suggested for a purse in Mrs. Gaugain’s book, The Lady’s Assistant, volume 1, 5th edition published in 1842, pages 234-237. I think there was an error and row 36 in the original pattern was duplicated erroneously, so I have adjusted the pattern. The original manchette pattern called for “fine” needles a

New contest!

I haven’t had a contest since October! Here’s new one just in time for Christmas. I’m picking 3 winners to each be able to choose 10 books from my Christian book list! And yes, that list includes my books! 1) You get one entry into the contest when you sign up for my email newsletter at http://www.camytang.com/ . If you already belong to my email newsletter, let me know! 2) You get a second entry into the contest if you Like my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/CamyTangAuthor . If you already Like my Facebook page, let me know! 3) You get a third entry into the contest if you join my Goodreads group: http://www.goodreads.com/group/show/49078 . If you already belong to my Goodreads group, let me know! 4) You get a fourth entry into the contest if you follow me on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/camytang . If you already follow me on Twitter, let me know! 5) You get extra entries into the contest if you get someone else to join my email newsletter. Just email camy {at] c

Toilet seat cover

Captain’s Log, Supplemental Update August 2008: I wrote up the pattern for this with "improvements"! Here's the link to my No Cold Bums toilet seat cover ! Okay, remember a few days ago I was complaining about the cold toilet seat in my bathroom? Well, I decided to knit a seat cover. Not a lid cover, but a seat cover. I went online and couldn’t find anything for the seat, just one pattern for the lid by Feminitz.com . However, I took her pattern for the inside edge of the lid cover and modified it to make a seat cover. Here it is! It’s really ugly stitch-wise because originally I made it too small and had to extend it a couple inches on each side. I figured I’d be the one staring at it, so who cared if the extension wasn’t perfectly invisible? I used acrylic yarn since, well, that’s what I had, and also because it’s easy to wash. I’ll probably have to wash this cover every week or so, but it’s easy to take off—I made ties which you can see near the back of the seat. And

Year of the Dog serial novel

About Year of the Dog : A month or two ago, I remembered an old manuscript I had completed but which hadn’t sold. It was a contemporary romance meant for Zondervan, titled Year of the Dog . The book had gone into the pipeline and I even got another title ( Bad Dog ) and a cover for it, but eventually my editor at the time decided she didn’t want to publish it, for various reasons. She instead requested a romantic suspense, and so I cannibalized some of the characters from Year of the Dog and thrust them into the next book I wrote, which was Protection for Hire . Honestly, I didn’t take a lot from Year of the Dog to put in Protection for Hire , aside from character names and a few relationship ties. I was originally thinking I’d post Year of the Dog as-is on my blog as a free read, but then it occurred to me that I could revamp it into a romantic suspense and change the setting to Hawaii. It would work out perfectly as (yet another) prequel to the Warubozu series and introduc

Year of the Dog serial novel, chapter 13

I’m posting a Humorous Christian Romantic Suspense serial novel here on my blog! Year of the Dog is a (second) prequel to my Warubozu Spa Chronicles series. Year of the Dog serial novel by Camy Tang Mari Mutou, a professional dog trainer, is having a bad year. While renovating her new dog kenneling and training facility, she needs to move in with her disapproving family, who have always made her feel inadequate—according to them, a job requiring her to be covered in dog hair and slobber is an embarrassment to the family. She convinces her ex-boyfriend to take her dog for a few months … but discovers that his brother is the irate security expert whose car she accidentally rear-ended a few weeks earlier. Ashwin Keitou has enough problems. His aunt has just shown up on his doorstep, expecting to move in with him, and he can’t say no because he owes her everything—after his mother walked out on them, Auntie Nell took in Ashwin and his brother and raised them in a loving Chri

Chinese Take-Out and Sushi for One

Captain’s Log, Supplemental My agent sent me an article from Publisher’s Weekly that discussed this incident: Chinese Take-Out Spawns Christian Controversy And here’s also a blog post that talks about it in more detail: The Fighting 44s This is Soong-Chan Rah’s blog: The PCS blog In sum: Apparently Zondervan (yes, my publisher), who has partnered with Youth Specialties, had put out a youth leaders skit that had stereotypical Asian dialogue, which offended many Christian Asian Americans. In response to the outcry, Zondervan/Youth Specialities put out a sincere apology and is not only freezing the remaining stock of the book, but also reprinting it and replacing the copies people have already bought. I am very proud of my publisher for how they have handled this situation. The skit writers have also issued a public apology . (I feel sorry for them, because they were only trying to write a funny skit, not stir up this maelstrom of internet controversy. I’ve been in youth work long enou