Skip to main content

The pissy snipe monster

Captain’s Log, Stardate 05.17.2010

Yesterday we had worship leader’s meeting at church right after the 10 a.m. service, and the meeting went a bit long. We didn’t go off on any tangents or anything like that, we just happened to have a lot to discuss.

I had been a good girl and eaten a big bowl of oatmeal before service, and I ate one of my mom’s energy bars in meeting, but when we got out of the meeting, I was cranky and hungry. Or rather, the order should be hungry and cranky. When I am hungry, I turn into the pissy snipe monster.

Captain Caffeine took his life into his hands when he casually admitted he wasn’t very hungry because he’d drunk some high-tech protein shake with time-release protein something or other. However, being the loving wife that I am, I forgave him his lapse of sensitivity while his wife’s stomach acid was burning a hole through her stomach lining.

Captain Caffeine, wanting to tame the rabid dog he had married, suggested I eat another energy bar. Now don’t get me wrong, Mom’s energy bars are DA BOMB. Rice krispies, peanut butter, nuts, cranberries, pumpkin seeds. They are AWESOME.

But when I’m hungry, I’m really not that into “snacky” foods. I want REAL FOOD. (This is my one beef with a diet book I’m reading that emphasizes 3 meals and 3 snacks each day. While I completely see the logic of it, it relies on (healthy) snacky stuff as opposed to REAL FOOD, and I don’t really care that much for snacky stuff in general, with the exception of potato chips, but that kind of defeats the purpose of the 3 healthy snacks to keep you from stuffing your face like a pig at mealtimes.)

Back to my empty stomach and fraying temper. After bemoaning my lack of interest in snack food and my desire for a French dip sandwich instead, I saw that Captain Caffeine was reaching for the crucifix, holy water and wooden stake in case I turned on him.

We went to Trader Joe’s to pick up milk and I found a bag of cheddar cheese pita chips appealing despite my ranting about how I dislike snack foods only fifteen minutes earlier. The Captain wisely refrained from commenting on my illogic and bought the bag faster than you can say “Eat.”

Pissy snipe monster miraculously turned back into the Captain’s lovely Japanese wife. And we went home to eat leftover steak and some awesomely sweet sautéed young snow peas with garlic and olive oil.

The End.

Comments

  1. uggh I feel your pain. Sometimes I just get SO hungry I simply have to eat! And my brothers are alway so sympathetic--telling me all about the doughnuts and cookies they ate and therefore they aren't hungry. Wow, thanks guys. And wassup wit dat anyway? I thought it was the guys who always wanted to eat... So much for yet ANOTHER stereotype

    ReplyDelete
  2. PSM may want her blood sugar checked, the 90 day one. Let her know, Camy!

    ReplyDelete
  3. LOL!!! Yet another thing we have in common. Though I've never heard it called pissy snipe monster. That's pretty cool. Except I'm pretty sure I can't use that name, since pissy would be yet ANOTHER bad word I've taught my kids. *sigh*

    I've done the same thing with getting a snacky food to tide me over. What's helped me is having a bag of almonds in my purse. Very yummy, convenient, and makes me feel less guilty than other snacks.

    ReplyDelete
  4. L.E. - your brothers would not survive in my household. :)

    Carrie - there's a 90 day blood sugar test? I just had my blood sugar tested and it was fine.

    Danica - I tried almonds before, but just don't care for them very much when I'm ravenous. Or at least they don't make me less hungry. :(

    ReplyDelete
  5. My sis made me get the 90 day one after I had a similar situation (we have diabetes in the family). Mine was negative but I am trying to give my PSM regular servings of fruit or carbs along with a little protein throughout the day. Seems to help!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yes, actually, I have to feed myself regularly or else I get the shakes. I did today, anyway! :( I hate it when that happens.
    Camy

    ReplyDelete
  7. Camy,I'm with you and Danica and L.E. My blood sugar drops--and growl.

    My husband has to EAT NOW when he says, "a rat is eating a hole in my belly."

    Anyway, have you tried the Fat Smash by Ian Smith, M.D. ? It works for my husband who has NEVER had to be on a diet before ("Musthaverealfood Miller") and I also can do that one. I prefer his original book, but he does have several out there. He did the diets/nutrition for Celebrity Fitness (or some such title.)

    I wish we had a Trader Joe's. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'll have a look at that, Crystal! Thanks!
    Camy

    ReplyDelete
  9. This made me laugh! I can so relate. Our pastor seems to LOVE the "5 minute meeting" after church. I don't eat breakfast on Sunday mornings so I become the total EVIL woman! Lunch is such a welcome relief!

    Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Holly, that's why I started eating breakfast Sunday morning! Those meetings would just kill me!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I should! But Sunday mornings are so crazy trying to get myself ready and my little one. Now I have to go 10 minutes the opposite direction to pick up my oldest son. I'm so whiny! Sorry...
    but yes breakfast would be good!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm totally the same way Sun morning, I'm always rushing to get out the door. I started making (the night before) a tupperware container of yogurt or a granola bar to eat on the way to church. If I happen to get up early enough, I make oatmeal.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular Posts

Camy Tang's November newsletter

My Camy Tang (Christian Contemporary Romantic Suspense) newsletter went out this week, but in case you missed it, the link is below. In my newsletter this month, there’s an update on my personal life and publishing schedule, and I also linked to a blog post about what the TV show Supernatural has to do with GONE MISSING, the 6th book in my Sonoma series Click here to read my Camy Tang newsletter for November. I also forgot to post the link for the October newsletter, so you can click here to read it.

Tabi socks, part deux

Captain's Log, Stardate 07.25.2008 (If you're on Ravelry, friend me! I'm camytang.) I made tabi socks again! (At the bottom of the pattern is the calculation for the toe split if you're not using the same weight yarn that I did for this pattern (fingering). I also give an example from when I used worsted weight yarn with this pattern.) I used Opal yarn, Petticoat colorway. It’s a finer yarn than my last pair of tabi socks, so I altered the pattern a bit. Okay, so here’s my first foray into giving a knitting pattern. Camy’s top-down Tabi Socks I’m assuming you already know the basics of knitting socks. If you’re a beginner, here are some great tutorials: Socks 101 How to Knit Socks The Sock Knitter’s Companion A video of turning the heel Sock Knitting Tips Yarn: I have used both fingering weight and worsted weight yarn with this pattern. You just change the number of cast on stitches according to your gauge and the circumference of your ankle. Th

Lady Wynwood's Spies, volume 4: Betrayer is here!

The latest volume in my Christian Regency epic serial novel is released! Here’s the back cover description of Lady Wynwood’s Spies, volume 4: Betrayer : A Christian Historical Adventure set in Regency England with romance and a supernatural twist Part four in an epic-length serial novel Beleaguered spies Lady Wynwood’s team of spies are trying to heal from the physical and mental wounds recently dealt to them. However, their investigation into Apothecary Jack’s mysterious group has turned up only a few strange, disjointed clues, and the dangerous Root elixir continues to circulate in the London underbelly. It is only a matter of time before the Root is sold to Napoleon, which would give him overwhelming dominance in the war. Sudden threats Then Laura, Lady Wynwood, is unexpectedly attacked by a man she had trusted. Although Phoebe and her household staff manage to protect her, her life is now in danger and she must go into hiding. Dangerous mysteries Laura uncovers more

ひとり寿司第25章パート2

「ひとり寿司」をブログに連載します! ひとり寿司 寿司シリーズの第一作 キャミー・タング 西島美幸 訳 スポーツ狂のレックス・坂井 —— いとこのマリコが数ヶ月後に結婚することにより、「いとこの中で一番年上の独身女性」という内輪の肩書を「勝ち取る」ことについては、あまり気にしていない。コントロールフリークの祖母を無視するのは容易だ —— しかし、祖母は最終通告を出した —— マリコの結婚式までにデート相手を見つけなければ、無慈悲な祖母は、レックスがコーチをしている女子バレーボールチームへの資金供給を切ると言う。 ダグアウトにいる選手全員とデートに出かけるほど絶望的なわけではない。レックスは、バイブルスタディで読んだ「エペソの手紙」をもとに「最高の男性」の条件の厳しいリストを作った。バレーボールではいつも勝つ —— ゲームを有利に進めれば、必ず成功するはずだ。 そのとき兄は、クリスチャンではなく、アスリートでもなく、一見何の魅力もないエイデンを彼女に引き合わせる。 エイデンは、クリスチャンではないという理由で離れていったトリッシュという女の子から受けた痛手から立ち直ろうとしている。そして、レックスが(1)彼に全く興味がないこと、(2)クリスチャンであること、(3)トリッシュのいとこであることを知る。あの狂った家族とまた付き合うのはごめんだ。まして、偽善的なクリスチャンの女の子など、お断り。彼はマゾヒストじゃない。 レックスは時間がなくなってきた。いくら頑張っても、いい人は現れない。それに、どこへ行ってもエイデンに遭遇する。あのリストはどんどん長くなっていくばかり —— 過去に掲載済みのストーリーのリンクはこちらです。 *** ビーナスはベンの視界をさえぎった。「ここは大丈夫だから、もう帰っていいわよ」 「でも——」 ビーナスは、また彼の目の前でドアを閉めた。 「何——」 ビーナスはレックスの言葉をさえぎり、ドアの隣の窓から外をのぞいた。「よかったわ、レックス、エイデンが来てくれて。あなたの巻き爪を全部切ってくれるわよ」ビーナスの声が小さい部屋に響き渡った。 どうやって礼儀正しく答えようかと決めかねているように、エイデンの表情は少し硬くなった。多分、(そうなの?)とか(それはおもしろいね)とでも言う

No Cold Bums toilet seat cover

Captain's Log, Stardate 08.22.2008 I actually wrote out my pattern! I was getting a lot of hits on my infamous toilet seat cover , and I wanted to make a new one with “improvements,” so I paid attention and wrote things down as I made the new one. This was originally based off the Potty Mouth toilet cover , but I altered it to fit over the seat instead of the lid. Yarn: any worsted weight yarn, about 120 yards (this is a really tight number, I used exactly 118 yards. My suggestion is to make sure you have about 130 yards.) I suggest using acrylic yarn because you’re going to be washing this often. Needle: I used US 8, but you can use whatever needle size is recommended by the yarn you’re using. Gauge: Not that important. Mine was 4 sts/1 inch in garter stitch. 6 buttons (I used some leftover shell buttons I had in my stash) tapestry needle Crochet hook (optional) Cover: Using a provisional cast on, cast on 12 stitches. Work in garter st until liner measures

How can I pray for you?

Photo credit: lalalime.blogspot.com 日本語訳は下をご覧ください。 I hope you had a good Thanksgiving, taking time to be still and remember God’s grace. My IBS has gotten a little better, but I’m still not entirely in control of my symptoms. There are simply too many things I don’t know if I can eat or not, and when I try things, if they affect my IBS, then I’m out for about a week at a time. My writing has slowed down more than I’d like. Please pray for God to heal my IBS, and for me to learn what God wants me to learn by allowing these struggles. Just as I’m struggling, if you are too, remember that God is with us and has a reason for everything that happens to us. Lord, thank You that You are always with us and have control over everything that happens to us. Help us to surrender to You and do Your will, no matter what is going on in our lives. Amen How can I pray for you today? Please leave me your prayer requests! Prayer requests can sometimes be private things, so to keep your

One-Skein Pyrenees Scarf knitting pattern

I got into using antique patterns when I was making the scarf my hero wears in my Regency romance, The Spinster’s Christmas . I wanted to do another pattern which I think was in use in the Regency period, the Pyrenees Knit Scarf on pages 36-38 of The Lady's Assistant for Executing Useful and Fancy Designs in Knitting, Netting, and Crochet Work, volume 1, by Jane Gaugain, published in 1840. She is thought to be the first person to use knitting abbreviations, at least in a published book, although they are not the same abbreviations used today (our modern abbreviations were standardized by Weldon’s Practical Needlework in 1906). Since the book is out of copyright, you can download a free PDF copy of the book at Archive.org. I found this to be a fascinating look at knitting around the time of Jane Austen’s later years. Although the book was published in 1840, many of the patterns were in use and passed down by word of mouth many years before that, so it’s possible these are p

Grace Livingston Hill romances free to read online

I wanted to update my old post on Grace Livingston Hill romances because now there are tons more options for you to be able to read her books for free online! I’m a huge Grace Livingston Hill fan. Granted, not all her books resonate with me, but there are a few that I absolutely love, like The Enchanted Barn and Crimson Roses . And the best part is that she wrote over 100 books and I haven’t yet read them all! When I have time, I like to dive into a new GLH novel. I like the fact that most of them are romances, and I especially appreciate that they all have strong Christian themes. Occasionally the Christian content is a little heavy-handed for my taste, but it’s so interesting to see what the Christian faith was like in the early part of the 20th century. These books are often Cinderella-type stories or A Little Princess (Frances Hodgson Burnett) type stories, which I love. And the best part is that they’re all set in the early 1900s, so the time period is absolutely fasci

Join Camy's Patreon!

At the moment, I’m releasing all my books in Kindle Unlimited, which requires my books to be exclusive to Amazon. However, I wanted to accommodate readers who prefer other ebook distributors and also reward my fans who might like my books a little ahead of schedule. ​So I started a Patreon where patrons will get BookFunnel links to download my latest ebooks about 2-3 weeks ahead of the release date. The ebook files are DRM-free and BookFunnel is great about helping you to load it onto your ebook reader or phone/tablet or computer. My Patreon is “per creation,” which means you won’t be charged every month. You will only be charged when I’ve posted a new book. For example, if I post a book on April 15th, you’ll be charged on May 1st. But if I don’t post a book in May, you won’t be charged on June 1st at all. This is because with my health problems, and since some of my books are over 100,000 words each, I’m not able to write a book a month, and I certainly don’t want to charge my

Toilet seat cover

Captain’s Log, Supplemental Update August 2008: I wrote up the pattern for this with "improvements"! Here's the link to my No Cold Bums toilet seat cover ! Okay, remember a few days ago I was complaining about the cold toilet seat in my bathroom? Well, I decided to knit a seat cover. Not a lid cover, but a seat cover. I went online and couldn’t find anything for the seat, just one pattern for the lid by Feminitz.com . However, I took her pattern for the inside edge of the lid cover and modified it to make a seat cover. Here it is! It’s really ugly stitch-wise because originally I made it too small and had to extend it a couple inches on each side. I figured I’d be the one staring at it, so who cared if the extension wasn’t perfectly invisible? I used acrylic yarn since, well, that’s what I had, and also because it’s easy to wash. I’ll probably have to wash this cover every week or so, but it’s easy to take off—I made ties which you can see near the back of the s