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Stop spamming me!

Captain's Log, Stardate 02.18.2010

No, I do not want to meet a Russian girl, nor do I want to be electric in bed.

I am probably already taking more prescription meds than is good for me, so your “cheep Rx” does not appeal.

I don’t even know what a “pilules” is and I doubt it has to do with me since I think I’m missing a vital body part for that to work.

My name is not “Mr. camys_loft” and really, that could be insulting in some countries.

I know exactly what I have ordered and I don’t appreciate you telling me about a bogus order notification that will probably only download a virus onto my computer. You are probably ruining the brand-new computers of poor little old ladies. Shame on you.

You are a dummy if you think that if I get a message with a subject line of “hello” and the recipient is someone whose email address I don’t recognize, that I will blithely open your message.

Even though my last name is “Tang,” if I get a message with Chinese characters in the subject line, I automatically know the message sender is not anyone who knows me. Because my friends know I don’t even speak Japanese, much less Chinese.

I do not need 70% off Pfizer, Viagra, Microsoft, Codeine, Hydrocodone, or something you just call “HOT.”

Why would I buy a replica Rolex from you when you can’t even spell Rolex correctly in the subject line?

And finally, since I have Gmail, I can see the first line of your email message without opening it, so a subject line of “Urgent message” or “Re: Your message” or “Update” isn’t going to fool me when I can see that the actual email message is something like, “Some jerk has posted your picture on this website, so click through so I can download a spyware blood-sucking virus onto your computer and steal your identity and rack up thousands of dollars in credit card debt.”

Just GO AWAY.
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Comments

Crystal Laine said…
It's been driving me crazy--which is probably the point. Goosefraba, Goosefraba...Argh!
Thu Feb 18, 08:24:00 PM 2010
WriterGirl said…
I hear you!! So annoying!!
Thu Feb 18, 08:30:00 PM 2010
Eddie Snipes said…
LOL. I also like the not-so-cleaver method of using my email address as the sender. Am I to think, "Oh, I must have sent myself an email," and open it?

Does anyone actually by from spammers? Just wondering if there is truly a profit in annoying the world?
Thu Feb 18, 09:10:00 PM 2010
Camy Tang said…
Thanks for the Amen, guys! Eddie, that's one I forgot--spam emails sent from my own address!!!
Camy
Thu Feb 18, 10:00:00 PM 2010
NeedANap2 said…
I have to say Amen too! Though for me one of my peeves is the "Hot singles in your area" or "tonight?" or anything with "singles" or "ready" or whatever else they use that is so annoying and my husband reading over my shoulder wonders what I'm up to! (though he gets enough spam mail to completely understand)
Thu Feb 18, 11:40:00 PM 2010
Geekwif said…
I'll add to the "Amens"! I have to wonder what they get out of this. I mean, does anyone even open these anymore? Does anyone actually see a subject of "HOT date prety Grls" and think "Oooh, that sounds legit."
Fri Feb 19, 03:33:00 AM 2010
Tales of Whimsy said…
Amen sister! If I had a quarter for every spam message...
Fri Feb 19, 05:39:00 AM 2010
misskallie2000 said…
Amen, I also know the FBI and IRS are not emailing me..
If they spent more time on legal pursuits they could probably make more money than scaming and no jail time.
Fri Feb 19, 09:21:00 AM 2010
Winter said…
Here, Here!

Oh, and I so enjoy the ones that come as no sender. Or, the supposed military dude needing me to take this cash he got over in Iraq so he can get it in America. LOL!
Fri Feb 19, 02:13:00 PM 2010
Phil Staudt said…
As long as there are comments and trackbacks and email and chats and messages, there will be spam.

Even if the world got off course and all life on earth perished, there would still be robots sending out spam for centuries to come.
Fri Feb 19, 04:30:00 PM 2010
Unknown said…
Oh and the banks where you've never had an account or credit card, the people claiming to be lawyers of someone who died looking for a next of kin and you don't and never did have that last name. Relatives needing help claiming an inheritance or someone needing a foreign assistant to handle payments. Gee there are so many things that never made sense to start with. And then of course the website or email addresses that don't even match the proper source for the sender. ******.net instead of *****.gov for irs or fbi and address domains that maybe don't even have the proper name in their url or add random strange things into the url.

Sometimes I think they are the clueless ones thinking so many people will fall for these things. Although I do feel sorry for the people who don't know better and get gypped by the scams.
Sat Feb 20, 10:04:00 AM 2010
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