I just finished writing Year of the Dog ! It had a massive plot hole that I had to fix which turned out to be more work than I expected. Here’s a snippet: “Hey, Auntie Nell.” He wrapped his arms around her, bussing her on the cheek and breathing in pikake flowers and shortbread cookies. And suddenly he was nine years old again, and her solid presence had made his chaotic world stable once more. “What are you doing here?” He usually took her to dinner on Wednesday nights, but today was Tuesday. The edges of her smile faltered a little before brightening right back up again. “What, I can’t visit my nephew?” She angled around him to enter his home. “Is this your new house? Looks lovely.” Which was a blatant lie, because the fixer-upper was barely livable, much less acceptable to a neat-freak like his aunt. She also left four matching pink and purple floral suitcases on the stoop behind her. Only then did Ashwin notice the cab driver standing slightly to the side of the walkway. “Can ...
Captain's Log, Stardate 05.27.2008
I got this one from my friend, Tina Russo:
You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves. Well, this kind of cruel theft is happening with other body parts as well!
My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for My thighs.
Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.
My Butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realised I'd have to give up my jeans in favour of long skirts.
Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arms swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?
When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those `plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something `lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?
THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!
P.S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.
Try to take them now, you thieving bastards!!
I got this one from my friend, Tina Russo:
You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves. Well, this kind of cruel theft is happening with other body parts as well!
My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for My thighs.
Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.
My Butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realised I'd have to give up my jeans in favour of long skirts.
Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arms swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?
When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those `plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something `lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?
THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!
P.S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.
Try to take them now, you thieving bastards!!
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Michelle Dean
Princess.Suzyq@yahoo.com, a new fan