Skip to main content

Phone calls

Captain's Log, Stardate 01.15.2008

I have to admit, I completely suck when it comes to calling friends.

It's not that I don't love them or want to talk to them, I just don't think to call them. I'm not trying to be rude or send a message or anything like that. I'm just clueless.

Luckily, I have wonderful friends who call me. And when they call, we talk for hours. And I have a great time talking to them and catching up.

But a part of me is feeling like a Bad Friend because I didn't think to call them first.

What do you think? Am I breaking a vital rule of Friend Etiquette by not calling my friends occasionally, by letting them call me first? Am I just pathetically thoughtless and ought to be whipped?

And let me say right now, I have awesome friends. They totally put up with me, non-calling as I am.
Labels:

Comments

Ausjenny said…
Ok i dont think it makes you a bad friend. Im am the one who tends to do the ringing in australia that is. occasionally my friends ring me but normally i do the ringing. and I am ok with that. So as the ringing friend i dont think my friends are bad. I know if they thought of it they would ring and i sometimes find its easier cos i can talk when i ring.
I also have Skype and my canadian friend is great at calling me when she sees me online.
Tue Jan 15, 04:09:00 AM 2008
Geekwif said…
I'm the same way. I won't usually call unless I have a specific purpose. Even then, I generally prefer email or IMing. My friends seem to put up with me pretty well.
Tue Jan 15, 05:27:00 AM 2008
Tyora Moody said…
I fall into the same category. Even as a teenager, I never really picked up on the talking on the phone bit. I guess because I always had my head in a book. :)

The folks who call me, pretty much know I'm a computer nerd and have a better chance of catching me via email. That's sad, but true.
Tue Jan 15, 07:01:00 AM 2008
PatriciaW said…
When I was younger, I called. And then I realized there were certain friends that never, ever called me. I wondered about whether we were truly friends.

Now it's hard to find time for phone calls. I remember to make them at hours when most folks are asleep. So I rely heavily on email. At least I'm communicating in some form, and with some friends, it's the only way we've talked in ten years!

So I don't think not calling makes you a Bad Friend as long as you find other ways to let those people know that you value the friendship.
Tue Jan 15, 09:43:00 AM 2008
Anonymous said…
I just think some people aren't phone talkers. I'm that way.

It's probably kind of like the love languages. Have you read that book? We each have different things that mean love to us. I suppose if I had a friend who highly valued talking on the phone, I should make it a priority to call her every now and then.

Hm. Now you've got me thinking . . .
Tue Jan 15, 12:14:00 PM 2008
Anonymous said…
You aren't alone.

Jeff is the phone caller among his friends. They just don't think to call him and he strives to speak to them at least once a month. It's admirable.

I hate the phone! So, I'm the opposite extreme.
Tue Jan 15, 05:34:00 PM 2008
Delia said…
I'm such a non-caller. And like you, it's not that I don't want to talk to them, I just don't think about it. Or I do think about it when I'm busy and then forget when I'm not busy.
Tue Jan 15, 05:39:00 PM 2008
Danica Favorite said…
From one non calling friend to another, it's totally okay. I hate calling people, and I almost never do. It has to be really important or I get a God-nudge or whatever for me to pick up the phone.
Tue Jan 15, 09:36:00 PM 2008
Ronie Kendig said…
I'm with you. It takes serious, concerted efforts on my part (read: writing on post-it notes and sticking them to my monitor) to remind myself to call someone. I think it's absurd to equate that to how much your friendship means. I'm just not a phone person. Some people can't get over that and use that to measure friendship, which is just insane! LOL

That said, I have grown to enjoy talking on the phone. I'm like some of the other girls here in that I've never (even as a teen) been a phone person.

Just get that monkey off your back and don't use that as a tool to measure your friendship. some might talk for hours on the hpone but be horrible with email or IM or something else. It's just who we are.
Wed Jan 16, 05:18:00 AM 2008
Myra Johnson said…
I have a serious phone aversion. My kids even get onto me for not calling them. We e-mail a lot, even IM. But to talk on the phone, they usually have to call me.

Part of it is that I think better in writing. I like to be able to back up and edit. Or take time to ponder my response. You can't do that over the phone.

Another factor is that I hate being interrupted by phone calls, so I figure everybody else does, too. I am not a chit-chatter, either--my mind goes blank! So unless I have some specific time-sensitive agenda for making a call, I will find some other way to communicate.
Wed Jan 16, 08:02:00 AM 2008
Pamela J said…
Calling a friend when there is no reason to talk but to connect with a friend is a rare gift. You must not have it, neither do I. Cherish that friendship because they are few. If you have an abundance of those type of friends, you are truely blessed.
Sat Jan 19, 07:43:00 AM 2008
Post a Comment

Popular Posts

Brainstorm - character occupation

Captain's Log, Stardate 03.23.2009 Hey guys, I could use some help. In my current manuscript, The Year of the Dog , which is a humorous contemporary romance, I have a minor character, Eddie. He’s my heroine’s ex-boyfriend, and they’re on good terms with each other. He’s a bit irresponsible, but not so much so that he’s a complete loser. He’s got a very easy going attitude, he forgets to pay his bills sometimes, he’s friendly and charming. He’s adventurous and fun to be around, but he’s a little forgetful sometimes, and he tends to spend a little outside his income. I need an occupation for him. What would a charming, easy going, slightly irresponsible guy do for a living? He’s not too irresponsible, because otherwise readers will wonder what in the world my heroine saw in him to date him in the first place. She was attracted to his charm, his easy going attitude (her family’s uptight, and he was a nice contrast), and his adventurousness. But his forgetfulness and irresponsibility ...
64 comments
Read more

I got my cover!

Captain’s Log, Supplemental Blog book giveaway: To enter, go to the blog links below and post a comment there. Eyes of Elisha by Brandilyn Collins Tangerine by Marilynn Griffith I GOT MY COVER!!!! What do you guys think?
34 comments
Read more

Chinese Take-Out and Sushi for One

Captain’s Log, Supplemental My agent sent me an article from Publisher’s Weekly that discussed this incident: Chinese Take-Out Spawns Christian Controversy And here’s also a blog post that talks about it in more detail: The Fighting 44s This is Soong-Chan Rah’s blog: The PCS blog In sum: Apparently Zondervan (yes, my publisher), who has partnered with Youth Specialties, had put out a youth leaders skit that had stereotypical Asian dialogue, which offended many Christian Asian Americans. In response to the outcry, Zondervan/Youth Specialities put out a sincere apology and is not only freezing the remaining stock of the book, but also reprinting it and replacing the copies people have already bought. I am very proud of my publisher for how they have handled this situation. The skit writers have also issued a public apology . (I feel sorry for them, because they were only trying to write a funny skit, not stir up this maelstrom of internet controversy. I’ve been in youth work long enou...
39 comments
Read more

I sold to Steeple Hill!

Captain's Log, Supplemental Remember that romantic suspense proposal I blogged about earlier? Well, it just sold to Steeple Hill’s Love Inspired Suspense line! I am so jazzed! I am beyond jazzed! The story’s working title is Sinister Spa The story's title is Deadly Intent and here’s a blurb (but it’s probably not what will appear on the back of the book): Massage therapist Naomi Grant could use a massage herself. With her father at home recovering from a stroke, Naomi is put in charge of the family’s elite day spa in Sonoma county. The new responsibilities sit awkwardly on her shoulders, and things only get worse when handsome Dr. Devon Knightley breezes into the spa, demanding to see one of the female clients. And the woman is found dead in Naomi’s massage room. Suddenly, Naomi is a suspect and her family’s spa is shut down. How could God let this awful thing happen? Devon only needed to see his ex-wife about a family necklace she still hadn’t returned, but when she dies and...
32 comments
Read more

Excerpt - A HUNDRED YEARS OF HAPPINESS by Nicole Seitz

Captain's Log, Stardate 03.05.2009 Update: Sorry, this giveaway is closed. A Hundred Years of Happiness by Nicole Seitz A beautiful young woman. An American soldier. A war-torn country. Nearly forty years of silence. Now, two daughters search for the truth they hope will set them free and the elusive peace their parents have never found. In the South Carolina Lowcountry, a young mother named Katherine Ann is struggling to help her tempestuous father, by plunging into a world of secrets he never talks about. A fry cook named Lisa is trying desperately to reach her grieving Vietnamese mother, who has never fully adjusted to life in the States. And somewhere far away, a lost soul named Ernest is drifting, treading water, searching for what he lost on a long-ago mountain. They're all longing for connection. For the war that touched them to finally end. For their hundred years of happiness at long last to begin. From the beloved author of The Spirit of Sweetgrass...
24 comments
Read more