Skip to main content

Airplane gripe sheet

Captain’s Log, Stardate 09.05.2006

Blog book giveaway:
My Thursday book giveaway is PINK by Marilynn Griffith.
My Monday book giveaway is BAD HEIRESS DAY by Allie Pleiter.
You can still enter both giveaways. Just post a comment on each of those blog posts. On Thursday, I'll draw the winner for PINK and post the title for another book I'm giving away.

Some humor: I don't know if this is truly from Quantas because I also found this list under Air Force flight crews, but regardless, it's hilarious.

QANTAS Gripe Sheet
25-VIII-2003

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The engineers read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

TMI:

Writing: I’m in the process of figuring out the sequence of events for my novel, and found that the Feminine Hero’s Journey in 45 MASTER CHARACTERS was actually quite helpful. The description of each stage was like a writing prompt, triggering ideas for what could happen at that point in the story. It didn’t seem formulaic at all.

The only complaint I have is that it doesn’t emphasize the rising action and 3 climaxes I’m used to. The rising action, especially, I think is important to a story, so now I need to go through my notes and tweak things to put more at stake at each point.

Diet: I made more shortbread!!! I’m torn between being happy and sad. I did NOT exercise today and I made artery-clogging cookies. And don’t even think the oatmeal in the cookies makes up for the butter, although I did use ¼ less butter. I hope I can get back on track with my exercise—the motivation to Just do it is lacking lately. Same as my ability to gauge proper eating portions.

Comments

Domino said…
Airline Maintenance Hilarity? Who knew that was the key to having the fewest recorded flight accidents? Maybe the other airlines should be this funny.

Made my day.
PatriciaW said…
Hysterical!

Had to stop baking chocolate chip cookies myself. Boys will simply have to find alternatives until I can find an alternative to all this weight I carry around!
Anonymous said…
Camy, that cracked me up! Makes me want to write a comedy about a pilot and his mechanic. Trying to think what kind of lit that would be. (thinking, thinking, typing, deleting). I got nothin'.

Popular Posts

Brainstorm - character occupation

Captain's Log, Stardate 03.23.2009 Hey guys, I could use some help. In my current manuscript, The Year of the Dog , which is a humorous contemporary romance, I have a minor character, Eddie. He’s my heroine’s ex-boyfriend, and they’re on good terms with each other. He’s a bit irresponsible, but not so much so that he’s a complete loser. He’s got a very easy going attitude, he forgets to pay his bills sometimes, he’s friendly and charming. He’s adventurous and fun to be around, but he’s a little forgetful sometimes, and he tends to spend a little outside his income. I need an occupation for him. What would a charming, easy going, slightly irresponsible guy do for a living? He’s not too irresponsible, because otherwise readers will wonder what in the world my heroine saw in him to date him in the first place. She was attracted to his charm, his easy going attitude (her family’s uptight, and he was a nice contrast), and his adventurousness. But his forgetfulness and irresponsibility ...

Chinese Take-Out and Sushi for One

Captain’s Log, Supplemental My agent sent me an article from Publisher’s Weekly that discussed this incident: Chinese Take-Out Spawns Christian Controversy And here’s also a blog post that talks about it in more detail: The Fighting 44s This is Soong-Chan Rah’s blog: The PCS blog In sum: Apparently Zondervan (yes, my publisher), who has partnered with Youth Specialties, had put out a youth leaders skit that had stereotypical Asian dialogue, which offended many Christian Asian Americans. In response to the outcry, Zondervan/Youth Specialities put out a sincere apology and is not only freezing the remaining stock of the book, but also reprinting it and replacing the copies people have already bought. I am very proud of my publisher for how they have handled this situation. The skit writers have also issued a public apology . (I feel sorry for them, because they were only trying to write a funny skit, not stir up this maelstrom of internet controversy. I’ve been in youth work long enou...

Lavender hand lotion

Captain's Log, Stardate 11.05.2009 I have to tell you, I LOVE Etsy.com ! Etsy is dedicated to providing a marketplace for people who like to make handmade products and people who appreciate them (and buy them). It has everything from handmade gifts (like my mom’s Bucilla Christmas stockings and ornaments and tree skirts and wall hangings and … well, just click here to see what she has! ) to soaps and lotions and jewelry and knitted items and hand-painted yarn and ... I could surf that website for DAYS. Anyway, lately I’ve been concerned about the lead content in my lotions, especially since I’m using them more now that it’s turned colder and drier here in California. I have to use lotion on my hands everytime after I wash them. So I went onto Etsy and searched for organic hand lotions, and bought this lavender lotion from Lue Cosmetics . What was really nice is that the owner, Jane, sent me a direct message via Etsy right after I made the purchase to ask if I’d received it yet and ...

I got my cover!

Captain’s Log, Supplemental Blog book giveaway: To enter, go to the blog links below and post a comment there. Eyes of Elisha by Brandilyn Collins Tangerine by Marilynn Griffith I GOT MY COVER!!!! What do you guys think?

Tabi socks, part deux

Captain's Log, Stardate 07.25.2008 (If you're on Ravelry, friend me! I'm camytang.) I made tabi socks again! (At the bottom of the pattern is the calculation for the toe split if you're not using the same weight yarn that I did for this pattern (fingering). I also give an example from when I used worsted weight yarn with this pattern.) I used Opal yarn, Petticoat colorway. It’s a finer yarn than my last pair of tabi socks, so I altered the pattern a bit. Okay, so here’s my first foray into giving a knitting pattern. Camy’s top-down Tabi Socks I’m assuming you already know the basics of knitting socks. If you’re a beginner, here are some great tutorials: Socks 101 How to Knit Socks The Sock Knitter’s Companion A video of turning the heel Sock Knitting Tips Yarn: I have used both fingering weight and worsted weight yarn with this pattern. You just change the number of cast on stitches according to your gauge and the circumference of your ankle. Th...