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All I Ever Wanted

Captain’s Log, Stardate 05.19.2006

Blog book giveaway:
My Monday book giveaway is BLIND DATES CAN BE MURDER by Mindy Starns Clark.
My Thursday book giveaway is ONCE UPON A CHOCOLATE KISS by Cheryl Wolverton.
You can still enter both giveaways. Just post a comment on each of those blog posts. On Monday, I'll draw the winner for BLIND DATES CAN BE MURDER and post the title for another book I'm giving away. Stay tuned.

MaggieB: I discovered Margaret Becker by accident when I was in high school.

Those were the days before Barnes & Noble or Borders, before or I don’t even think there was a Tower Records, or if there was, it was too far out of the way for my parents to drive me there, because—yeah—they had the car keys.

A closet-sized Christian gift store opened up in Ala Moana Shopping Center, and we were passing it so we stopped. I had gotten into Amy Grant and wanted to see if there was anything new.

Some cool-looking (remember, this is the 80’s) chick with moussed hair had this neato cassette tape (!) called “The Reckoning” and I thought that sounded hip. So I bought it. And since my only other options at that store were the Winans, Steven Curtis Chapman, and some moustached guy with really big hair, Margaret was a girl I could relate to.

“The Reckoning” was cool. But then “Simple House” came out two albums after that, and there were a couple songs that changed my life. That sounds melodramatic, but you have to remember I was the only Christian in my home, and I wasn’t even that great a Christian because I didn’t understand the whole “submit” thing.

The song below is what made me start to understand that a life with Christ should be complete abandonment. A foreign concept for a teenager with no Christian friends her age.

This song is like the album title—a simple house, a foundation built on simple, strong lines that would withstand time and trials.

All I Ever Wanted
Margaret Becker

From where I lay
I can see the sun
Rising through the trees
Before I face
This morning rush
I get down on my knees

I lift my eyes
And thank You for
This life you've granted me
I pray that every day I live
Your heart will be pleased

I pray for hands that hold You
Higher than anything else
And a heart that loves You
More than life itself
This is all I've ever wanted
This is all I want to be
All I've ever wanted
Is to love You

From where I stand
I can see the dreams
That you have fulfilled
Such kindness I did not deserve
But You gave it still

What do I have
That You did not give
There's nothing that I can see
So all I have to give to You
Is what You've given me

I pray for hands that hold you
Higher than anything else
And this heart to love You
More than life itself
This is all I've ever wanted
This is all I want to be
All I've ever wanted
Is to love You

I know I don't have the power
To love You like I should
But every day with everything I have
I wish I could
I'm standing here now
These words I pray
I wanna love You better
Whatever it takes

I pray for hands that hold you
Higher than anything else
And this heart to love You
More than life itself
This is all I've ever wanted
This is all I want to be
All I've ever wanted
Is to love You

Camy here: Aren't those lyrics just awesome? They're especially powerful now, years later, with my contract with Z. But before He even fulfilled these dreams for me, this song was my prayer. This was--and still is--where I want my heart to always be.


Today, I got my Marketing Information Form from Zondervan. It asks all kinds of questions about the story for the Z Marketing and Art departments to start work on my book. How cool is that? It’s due June 1st.


  1. I didn't know if you're aware -- Margaret Becker's just written a book entitled Coming Up for Air which was just released by NavPress.
    That is so cool to read about how God used MB and her music to impact your life!!
    Congrats on getting the marketing "ball" rolling on your book -- how exciting!! :)

  2. Camy,
    I love MaggieB too! The song you listed is one of my favorites as well. I also love "Who Am I" & "Come Quickly Lord" from The Reckoning.

    Isn't it truly amazing the power of words and music to move us and change our lives?


  3. Things are moving fast for you, Camy and I'm glad. Things are always slow for me though I haven't been blogging quite as much in the last two weeks. My arms and back continue to be very sensitive to writing and overall stress. I e-mailaed someone who is in sort of remission from FMS and she wrote me what the doctor prescribed for her. I'm going to talk to my doctor about it. He seems amenable to trying something else. Unfortunately, stress is one of the biggest factors in FMS and I can see no end in sight for me on that front. Even just living behind this beauty salon gives me sensory overload in noise and odors that make me want to hide or scream. These are my best hours right now: nobody else moving, talking or whatever in the place. No music: I haven't put any on myself since the first week I moved in here. And at the moment there's not much traffic on the road either. This is the time my mind is the clearest it gets. The fridge is make a strange noise but otherwise it's bliss and almost 4:45 a.m. I guess I'd better head for bed and try to get what sleep I can before 8:30 tomorrow morning. We have Victoria Day on Monday so it's a day off but that doesn't do me a bit of good. The salon is usually closed that day anyway. It also used to be closed on Tuesday, but the new manager decided to open it on Tuesdays as well. I can really feel the extra stress level. It's hard on the teeth and all the muscles as well.

    I shouldn't gripe but it's hard when you don't know where to get some peace and quiet. A lot of people don't even understand that need for total quiet. Please continue praying that some avenue might open up to relieve this stress.

    Yes music can be so soothing and meaningful. I've never heard of this singer. At first I thought she was just a poet. This song is very striking. I wish I could hear it.

    I see the next blog is 'Gladiolas' one of my favorite flowers with carnations, snowdrops and crocuses. They don't remind me of an exactly stellar time but of a nice relative. I'd broken my arm in 1962 in Berlin and my great-uncle, a very good painter, often came to the hospital I was in and brought me Gladioli to cheer me up. They certainly did that.

    ghpltw - Go help people; light the way.

  4. I love Maggie B! One of her albums kept me sane a few years ago. it was the "Falling Forward" CD. Specifically the song "Clay and Water"

    So cool on the marketing form!! I'm so excited for you, Camy!!!

  5. You selected my favorite Margaret Becker song for this blog. I listen to it every day. She's coming to Tulsa, Oklahoma in October -- we are excited!!


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