Captain's Log, Stardate 08.11.2005
Counting the hours until I'm done with work. Tomorrow is my last day. Yay!
On the flip side, I balanced the checkbook today and paid our credit card bill. We pay in full every month, so we're not in debt, but the size of the bill made me stop breathing for a second. Or two. I haven't even paid Marilyn for our RWA hotel bill yet.
Several amounts were for clothes for RWA--did I really spend that much to look pretty? No new outfits for ACFW conference, that's for sure. And I just paid for my plane ticket to
Can we really do this? Can we afford to cut our income in half? I need to stop buying books, even if they are for research and market trends. I need to really see if I can rake in some extra cash doing developmental editing, like Marilyn suggested.
(Did I blog about that yet? Marilyn mentioned that I have a good feel for story structure, and I should go freelance as a developmental fiction editor. I have no idea if this would work since I have no copyediting training, journalism experience, or even an English major. But I do have a couple endorsements from friends who are published, I guess. I have to check out Christian PEN today.)
Lord God, there is no way I can do this except by your grace. Help me to trust you and be faithful in my writing.
Writing: I am feeling so dry creatively, when the opposite should be true--I should be writing up a storm because I'll be done with work soon. Why can't I go anywhere on this manuscript? I really want to finish it and start the next one, which I'm already thinking and planning. Is this spiritual warfare or just plain laziness? Lord God, please help me. I am at the end of myself, I'm too weak to do this on my own strength and discipline.
The San Jose ACFW group encouraged me to keep praying, keep striving, and not beat myself up over this. Marilyn suggested a writing "vacation" away from my WIP. I do still want to fast a day this month, and I was planning on Sunday but I have a bridal shower for one of my youth group staff workers. I'll have to think about it.
Diet: Wonder of wonders, I hopped on the scale this morning and I'm the same weight as before I went on vacation, despite the lack of exercise and gorge-fests. That doesn't mean I'll stay that way, however, so I pushed myself to do Taebo this morning. It felt good and made the ache in my back go away.