Lifting up Christ

Captain's Log, Stardate 07.18.2005

One thing has pervaded my writing the past few days, and that is my "Mission" verse, John 12:32: "I, if I be lifted up, will draw all men unto me."

The Greek says "lifted up from the earth" or lifted onto the cross. But I like to also see the further implications of this: With Christ's sacrifice, he'll draw people to himself. Meaning, if I "lift him up," or if I emphasize aspects of Christ's sacrifice in my writing, he'll draw people to himself.

I'm rather post-modern in that I'm not comfortable with blatantly evangelical fiction, although I realize there is a place and an audience for it. I prefer showing what a true Christian would be like--flawed and struggling. Stumbling and learning. Stubborn, humbled, and then lifted up. That's what my Christian walk is like, and I relate to characters with the same.

So the past few days, I've been rethinking my heroines and my storylines, to try to emphasize Christ more. Not in dramatic conversion scenes or leading someone else to salvation. Rather, realizing something inside themselves that isn't in line with Christ's character. Struggling, resisting, wavering. Submitting. Being tested and attacked. Making wrong choices, making right choices. Then (because I'm a romance writer and need a happy ending) peace and a brighter future.

I guess the focus has shifted for me. Rather than writing a spiritual arc of awareness of God, I've shifted to awareness of Christ--the cross, the resurrection, his power and authority. I'm not sure if I can explain it, but the difference feels right.

Diet: Lost another pound. I ramped up my exercise last week--three weight-training sessions, four aerobic sessions. This heat is killing me, it's like running through hot soup. Blech. I also re-started my food journal, and it made me keep my calorie count down, but I'm a lot more hungry than I was last week.

I guess I kind of hoped that if I do super-well on my diet and exercise, the fat layer will magically melt away and I'll see some dramatic difference. I can hear you laughing. Yeah, but it's kind of depressing, despite the lost pound. My thighs still converse intimately, the rolls still jiggle around my midsection. My husband reminds me that it's a marathon, not a sprint. I'm just too impatient. I do hope God can help me stay motivated and have the self-discipline to keep this up.

On a positive note, my stomach is now smaller and gets full faster. So, the smaller portions are not so bad now because it doesn't take an hour for my body to feel satiated.