Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Phone calls

Captain's Log, Stardate 01.15.2008

I have to admit, I completely suck when it comes to calling friends.

It's not that I don't love them or want to talk to them, I just don't think to call them. I'm not trying to be rude or send a message or anything like that. I'm just clueless.

Luckily, I have wonderful friends who call me. And when they call, we talk for hours. And I have a great time talking to them and catching up.

But a part of me is feeling like a Bad Friend because I didn't think to call them first.

What do you think? Am I breaking a vital rule of Friend Etiquette by not calling my friends occasionally, by letting them call me first? Am I just pathetically thoughtless and ought to be whipped?

And let me say right now, I have awesome friends. They totally put up with me, non-calling as I am.

11 comments :

  1. Ok i dont think it makes you a bad friend. Im am the one who tends to do the ringing in australia that is. occasionally my friends ring me but normally i do the ringing. and I am ok with that. So as the ringing friend i dont think my friends are bad. I know if they thought of it they would ring and i sometimes find its easier cos i can talk when i ring.
    I also have Skype and my canadian friend is great at calling me when she sees me online.

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  2. I'm the same way. I won't usually call unless I have a specific purpose. Even then, I generally prefer email or IMing. My friends seem to put up with me pretty well.

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  3. I fall into the same category. Even as a teenager, I never really picked up on the talking on the phone bit. I guess because I always had my head in a book. :)

    The folks who call me, pretty much know I'm a computer nerd and have a better chance of catching me via email. That's sad, but true.

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  4. When I was younger, I called. And then I realized there were certain friends that never, ever called me. I wondered about whether we were truly friends.

    Now it's hard to find time for phone calls. I remember to make them at hours when most folks are asleep. So I rely heavily on email. At least I'm communicating in some form, and with some friends, it's the only way we've talked in ten years!

    So I don't think not calling makes you a Bad Friend as long as you find other ways to let those people know that you value the friendship.

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  5. I just think some people aren't phone talkers. I'm that way.

    It's probably kind of like the love languages. Have you read that book? We each have different things that mean love to us. I suppose if I had a friend who highly valued talking on the phone, I should make it a priority to call her every now and then.

    Hm. Now you've got me thinking . . .

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  6. You aren't alone.

    Jeff is the phone caller among his friends. They just don't think to call him and he strives to speak to them at least once a month. It's admirable.

    I hate the phone! So, I'm the opposite extreme.

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  7. I'm such a non-caller. And like you, it's not that I don't want to talk to them, I just don't think about it. Or I do think about it when I'm busy and then forget when I'm not busy.

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  8. From one non calling friend to another, it's totally okay. I hate calling people, and I almost never do. It has to be really important or I get a God-nudge or whatever for me to pick up the phone.

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  9. I'm with you. It takes serious, concerted efforts on my part (read: writing on post-it notes and sticking them to my monitor) to remind myself to call someone. I think it's absurd to equate that to how much your friendship means. I'm just not a phone person. Some people can't get over that and use that to measure friendship, which is just insane! LOL

    That said, I have grown to enjoy talking on the phone. I'm like some of the other girls here in that I've never (even as a teen) been a phone person.

    Just get that monkey off your back and don't use that as a tool to measure your friendship. some might talk for hours on the hpone but be horrible with email or IM or something else. It's just who we are.

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  10. I have a serious phone aversion. My kids even get onto me for not calling them. We e-mail a lot, even IM. But to talk on the phone, they usually have to call me.

    Part of it is that I think better in writing. I like to be able to back up and edit. Or take time to ponder my response. You can't do that over the phone.

    Another factor is that I hate being interrupted by phone calls, so I figure everybody else does, too. I am not a chit-chatter, either--my mind goes blank! So unless I have some specific time-sensitive agenda for making a call, I will find some other way to communicate.

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  11. Calling a friend when there is no reason to talk but to connect with a friend is a rare gift. You must not have it, neither do I. Cherish that friendship because they are few. If you have an abundance of those type of friends, you are truely blessed.

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