Skip to main content

Airplane gripe sheet

Captain’s Log, Stardate 09.05.2006

Blog book giveaway:
My Thursday book giveaway is PINK by Marilynn Griffith.
My Monday book giveaway is BAD HEIRESS DAY by Allie Pleiter.
You can still enter both giveaways. Just post a comment on each of those blog posts. On Thursday, I'll draw the winner for PINK and post the title for another book I'm giving away.

Some humor: I don't know if this is truly from Quantas because I also found this list under Air Force flight crews, but regardless, it's hilarious.

QANTAS Gripe Sheet
25-VIII-2003

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The engineers read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

TMI:

Writing: I’m in the process of figuring out the sequence of events for my novel, and found that the Feminine Hero’s Journey in 45 MASTER CHARACTERS was actually quite helpful. The description of each stage was like a writing prompt, triggering ideas for what could happen at that point in the story. It didn’t seem formulaic at all.

The only complaint I have is that it doesn’t emphasize the rising action and 3 climaxes I’m used to. The rising action, especially, I think is important to a story, so now I need to go through my notes and tweak things to put more at stake at each point.

Diet: I made more shortbread!!! I’m torn between being happy and sad. I did NOT exercise today and I made artery-clogging cookies. And don’t even think the oatmeal in the cookies makes up for the butter, although I did use ¼ less butter. I hope I can get back on track with my exercise—the motivation to Just do it is lacking lately. Same as my ability to gauge proper eating portions.

Comments

Domino said…
Airline Maintenance Hilarity? Who knew that was the key to having the fewest recorded flight accidents? Maybe the other airlines should be this funny.

Made my day.
PatriciaW said…
Hysterical!

Had to stop baking chocolate chip cookies myself. Boys will simply have to find alternatives until I can find an alternative to all this weight I carry around!
Anonymous said…
Camy, that cracked me up! Makes me want to write a comedy about a pilot and his mechanic. Trying to think what kind of lit that would be. (thinking, thinking, typing, deleting). I got nothin'.

Popular Posts

Lena’s Diamond Shawl – A Free Knitting Pattern from a Regency Spy Novel

In my book, Lady Wynwood’s Spies, Volume 7: Spinster , my heroine Lena is recovering from sickness and uses her favorite shawl to keep warm. 🧵 Click here to download the FREE PDF of the pattern. Here’s the short excerpt from the book that mentions the shawl: 📖 Excerpt from Lady Wynwood’s Spies, Volume 7: Spinster Lena still felt a chill as she sat in the sunlight streaming through the window of the Viponds’ drawing room. She was swathed in her favorite lace shawl, a gift from Melinda, who had knit it in Lena’s favorite color, red, along with cream and pink stripes. Tabitha finished pouring the tea and handed her a cup. Lena tried to smile as she took it, but her face felt stiff, like hardened clay. She was an utter failure. Despite all her training as an agent, she’d been undone by a malicious woman and a locked balcony in the rain. Had she given up too quickly? She’d been deterred by the railing, believing it would have broken under her weight. She had also been shivering t...

Writing Goals for 2007

Captain’s Log, Supplemental I considered cheating on my goals for this year, but decided I was being a wimp. So here they are: Here are the goals required by my contract: Book 3 in the series marketing info sheet due March 15th Book 3 manuscript due June 1st Book 1 substantive/line edits due sometime in Jan/Feb Book 1 galleys due sometime after that Book 2 macro edits due sometime in Spring? Book 2 substantive/line edits due, I’m guessing in Summer. Book 3 macro edits due sometime in October, I’m guessing Dang, laid out like that, looks like I’ll be busy. Here are my personal writing goals: Long-term goals: --Complete two manuscripts and a novella by December 31st, 2007 (I have to write the two manuscripts, but I’m trying to push myself and write a third project. I chose a novella since it’s easier than a full novel.) Short-term goals: --Write a short story this year (I keep putting it off because I’m such a perfectionist about it! I think I’ve got to get just the right plot, etc. bef...

Free Christian Romantic Suspense Novels by Camy Tang / Camille Elliot

Curious about what my writing is like? Here’s a list of all my free books and the free short stories, novellas, and novels that you can read here on my blog. I’ll update this post as I add more free reads. Christian Romantic Suspense: Necessary Proof (Sonoma series #4.1, novella) Click here to buy the FREE ebook on all retailers Alex Villa became a Christian in prison, and because of his efforts to help stop a gang producing meth in Sonoma, he has been set up for the death of a cop. Can computer expert Jane Lawton find the evidence that will prove his innocence before the gang eliminates them both? Fantasy short stories: Pixies in a Garden in Kyoto There were pixies in the garden. Since she was in Kyoto, she was certain they were not called pixies, but she didn't know what they would be called in Japanese, and they certainly looked like what she imagined pixies would look like. The King’s Daughter The trees in the King's garden were full of colored pixie lights. The...

Tabi socks, part deux

Captain's Log, Stardate 07.25.2008 (If you're on Ravelry, friend me! I'm camytang.) I made tabi socks again! (At the bottom of the pattern is the calculation for the toe split if you're not using the same weight yarn that I did for this pattern (fingering). I also give an example from when I used worsted weight yarn with this pattern.) I used Opal yarn, Petticoat colorway. It’s a finer yarn than my last pair of tabi socks, so I altered the pattern a bit. Okay, so here’s my first foray into giving a knitting pattern. Camy’s top-down Tabi Socks I’m assuming you already know the basics of knitting socks. If you’re a beginner, here are some great tutorials: Socks 101 How to Knit Socks The Sock Knitter’s Companion A video of turning the heel Sock Knitting Tips Yarn: I have used both fingering weight and worsted weight yarn with this pattern. You just change the number of cast on stitches according to your gauge and the circumference of your ankle. Th...

Read the beginning of Lady Wynwood’s Spies, Volume 1: Archer

Pride and Prejudice meets Mission: Impossible If you love witty banter, secret agents in cravats, fierce heroines, and slow-burn romance with high-stakes suspense, then welcome to my world of Christian Regency Romantic Suspense! This is the two prologues and chapter one from Lady Wynwood’s Spies, Volume 1: Archer , the first installment in my epic-length historical adventure series. I originally posted this excerpt in weekly parts, but I’ve compiled everything here so you can read it all in one sitting—no need to click through multiple posts. Before the excerpt begins, here’s the back cover description so you know what to expect: ⸻ Part one in a Christian Regency suspense series with slow-burn romance and a supernatural twist She met him again by shooting him. Unmarried after four Seasons of towering over her dance partners, Miss Phoebe Sauber learns she will be cast out of her home when her father remarries. Feeling betrayed by her father and God, she misfires an arro...