Captain’s Log, Stardate 01.06.05 Lord, forgive me for being lazy. I really didn’t want to be at work today, and I don’t want to do my new project even though it’s a new supervisor and there’s nothing wrong with it. I’m just lazy. Please work in me, help me to have a better attitude. I want to work with all my heart for You. Thank You that I could leave early. Please help me to get a lot of writing done tonight, and to get to bed early. Thank You that my husband came home (relatively) early yesterday and we spent some quality time together. P.S. Heather, thanks for checking up on me yesterday, that was really sweet of you. It’s true I’m not into warmy-fuzzy-frou-frou-huggy things, but your love for me makes my day brighter. Writing: Read more of Maass’ book, worked on my wip, but no pages yet. I’ll need to revise anyway. Diet: Yesterday, I did okay, maybe 1700 calories. Today, by the end of lunch I was already at 1400! It was the free pizza at work,...

Captain’s Log, Stardate 01.05.05 My first day back at work wasn’t too bad. There really wasn’t anything for me to do except read a few papers and attend group meeting, so that was nice. I might be switched to a new group, but I feel bad because that means someone else must work for my supervisor. A girl from another site is coming to work for my group at the end of January, and she’s really nice, but I think they might shaft her and make her work for my supervisor. Problem is, a few years ago she worked for my supervisor at the other site and was really stressed out, just like me. But she isn’t as insistent as I am so I don’t know if people knew there was a problem. I wonder if she would speak up if she discovered she’d be working for her old supervisor. There must have been a good reason she wanted to transfer out of her old group, so I wonder what the other site supervisor is like. Anyway, the other people at work were really sympathetic towards me because they h...

Captain’s Log, Stardate 01.04.05 In my quiet time today, I read through Colossians chapters 2 and 3. What stands out is the newness I have in Christ, that enables me to clothe myself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. It is hard to bring my heart to this place, it can only be God working in me to do it. He also reminded me to be thankful. And it’s true, things could be so much worse. I’m so ungrateful sometimes. I’m very thankful that I am healthy and not in any pain from the surgery. My husband has a job that’s somewhat steady even if the hours are horrendous, but he’s working with people he likes and he gets paid overtime for those long hours. My dog is healthy and happy. Our house is in decent shape, and so far, we’re able to make the mortgage each month. I have encouraging cyber-friends (even though-- ahem, Heather --some of them are a bit cyber-hug-happy. ;-) Just kidding, hun). My car is in good shape and I am able to drive. I have today ...

Captain’s Log, Supplemental Since it’s the start of 2005, here are my writing goals. I want them posted here for accountability: Long-term goals: complete three manuscripts by December 2005 come up with one new multiple-book Chicklit series proposal and one new multiple-book Romantic Suspense series proposal find at least two more critique partners Short term goals: write one short story each month critique at least one piece each week on Writing.com critique crit partners' pieces every two weeks update my website at least once a month with something new and exciting (at least to me! LOL) Write in my blog at least once a week, but preferably everyday for accountability of my writing progress Daily goals: at least one hour of writing each weekday, two hours each Saturday, Sunday as a day of rest Project goals: finish current ms by February 1st (it’s what I’m shooting for, but I just realized I need to overhaul my storyline) polish Romantic Suspense series proposal b...

Been trying to keep the spiritual warfare at bay. At random moments, I’ll start to panic or feel depressed and I’ll have to stop and pray. It’s been a constant battle against these emotional attacks, and surrendering myself to God over and over again. I am so tired and frustrated. But I did pray today for trust and patience, so I must be making spiritual headway. I know God would not have put this desire in me to write if He didn’t intend to do something with it, and although I may have to learn patience (how I hate that word, LOL), I am hoping He will allow me to write full-time someday. The thought of working (especially at this company) for another year or two is depressing, but I have to trust God’s plans and timing, and pray for deliverance. Yesterday I started reading Maass’ "Writing the Breakout Novel." It’s been very enlightening and motivating. He lists ways to make the novel more dramatic, more colorful, more enticing to a reader. It’s basically the...

Captain’s Log, Stardate 01.02.05 Psalm 37:1-8 (NIV) Do not fret because of evil men Or be envious of those who do wrong; For like the grass they will soon wither, Like green plants they will soon die away. Trust in the Lord and do good; Dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; Trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, The justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret when men succeed in their ways, When they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; Do not fret--it leads only to evil. For evil men will be cut off, But those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land. I go back to work in three days. I am reading Psalm 37 today, and felt such despair because I can’t make ...

Captain’s Log, Stardate 01.01.05 I just learned on my writer’s discussion loop that writers should document the amount of time spent writing each year. Apparently the IRS requires at least 500 hours spent on writing for you to qualify as your own business. So I started a writing time log. How fortuitous that I learned this today and can now start documentation for 2005. I hope I have enough hours for 2004. My husband and I went to Sportmart to take advantage of a 25% off coupon, but I went primarily to look at exercise bikes. The cheaper ones tended to feel more flimsy, while even the expensive ones didn’t always have a comfortable seat. One upright bike felt very sturdy, but the recumbent seat is better for my back, and my husband's too. We could both use an exercise bike, actually, but I don’t know if my husband would actually use it. I’m hoping I would actually use it! He’s not completely sold on the idea. My knee felt really good while I was on the bikes a...