Living resentfully

Captain's Log, Supplemental

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Second-guessing: MiPa had a really insightful blog post the other day that I’d like to share:

“A life lived resentfully is a life lived second-guessing the choices one has made.”

I commented on her blog that I think this is really true. In areas of my life where I “live resentfully,” I think it’s because I’m second-guessing my choices and actions.

I think I’ve gotten better as I get older. I can look back on my life and really see how God deliberately and skillfully guided my life’s path in very specific directions.

For example, I thought I’d wasted my time in college when I chose my psychology major only to change it to pre-med. But now I’m grateful because I’m really using that major to help me craft my fiction characters.

I had wondered why God gave me the initial desire to go to medical school and then told me He wanted me to stay in the Bay Area instead. But now I see it was so that I’d be qualified for the biotech jobs that I held.

He wanted me to stay in the Bay Area because of the youth group work I’ve done for the past 11 years, and because I met my wonderful husband, Captain Caffeine.

In my life—short as it’s been—I’ve made so many bad choices. I’ve interfered with God’s plans, didn’t even ask Him what He wanted me to do in many cases, or forged ahead despite the fact I knew He didn’t want me going there.

God has taken me through things despite that. Led me here despite that.

I can’t continue to live resentfully when I see how it has all come together the way it has. God used all my choices—good and bad—to lead me where He wants me. How could I resent how God has led me?

I need to do some housecleaning. Sweep away the lingering resentment or self-doubt about my choices.

TMI:

Writing: I posted another article on blogging for writers at the CAN Marketing blog.

Finished my second round (yes, Robin, more revisions) yesterday and started on my NaNoWriMo ms today . . . but didn't get much done. Still trying to figure out my hero's GMC. Yeah, kinda important.

On a positive note, my editor is happy with my revisions and she's been told she'll work with me on book 2! I'm very happy. Rachelle made this, my first professional substantive edit, a very good experience.

This is also a good thing, because if I have a question about the direction of things with book 2, I can ask her before I commit to 100 or so pages of prose.

Diet: Getting a few minutes on the bike here and there. I really need to work on portion control. That's just depressing, when an adult can't serve herself healthy portions of food!

Comments

Domino said…

I just wanted to encourage you on the whole portion control thing. I grew up having "finish your meal" drummed into me. Now as an adult, I eat until 95% of the food is gone. That's bad because the restaurants around here have huge servings. My husband is aware of when he's not hungry anymore. Me - I'm talking and eating and not paying attention to whether my hunger is satisfied.

From now on, I should look at the plate, carve out one reasonable portion, and ask for a to go box at the beginning of the meal.

Just my thoughts. Hope it helped.

Thu Nov 02, 07:08:00 AM 2006

Julie Carobini said…

I agree with Domino on that portion control thing. Because of knee probs, I can't run as much, therefore I can't eat as much--but restaurants still give me the same. Capiche? Anyway, think of doggy bags as a way to stretch a buck--two meals out of one, ya know?

And thanks for the 'living resentfully' quote. Amazingly on target. Wow.

Thu Nov 02, 09:16:00 AM 2006

Unknown said…

Portion control? Are you INSANE?

Thu Nov 02, 09:43:00 AM 2006

Rachelle said…

Even Tyra Banks is recommending portion control..that's how she lost 10 lbs last summer..so it must be really effective..

Sat Nov 04, 08:18:00 PM 2006

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