キャミー・タング著「戌年」連載小説 プロのドッグトレーナーであるマリ・ムトウは、厄年を迎えている。 犬小屋と訓練所の改築をしながら、いつも不服そうにしている家族と同居することになった。母と姉に言わせれば、犬の毛とよだれかけにまみれる仕事は、家族にとって恥ずべきものだという。彼女は元カレを説得し、数ヶ月間犬を預かってもらうことにした。しかし、彼の兄は、数週間前に彼女が誤って車に追突した、怒り狂ったセキュリティ専門家であることが判明する。 アシュウィン・ケイトウは十分な問題を抱えている。叔母が玄関先に現れ、同居を希望している。彼は彼女にすべてを借りているので、断ることができません。母親が家を出て行った後、ネルおばさんはアシュウィンと弟を引き取り、愛のあるキリスト教の家庭で育てた。しかも、弟のダスティもアパートを追い出され、居場所を求めている。しかし、彼は犬を飼っている。そして、その犬の飼い主は誰だと思いますか? しかし、旧友でオアフ島のノースショアでデイスパを経営する私立探偵のエディサ・ゲレロから依頼を受ける。マリの施設で奇妙な破壊行為があり、3年前に失踪したエディサの妹の財布を発見する。エディサはマリが危険な目に遭っているのではと心配する。警備の専門家であるアシュウィンがすでにマリを知っていることを知ったエディサは、忙しい若い女性を密かに監視することを彼に依頼する。 アシュウィンは、活発でのんびりとしたドッグトレーナーに不本意ながら惹かれていく。彼女は、幸せそうな母親を思い出させる。その母親の裏切りによって、彼は人と距離を置くようになったのだ。マリは、アシュウィンの冷たい外見を見抜き、彼が家族に忠実な男であることを認める。彼は、彼女のキャリア選択を批判するだけの母親や姉とは違う。 マリのバラバラな家庭とアシュウィンのバラバラな家庭の中で、過去を隠そうとする人たちから、彼らの周りに危険が迫ってくるようになる。彼らは、影で動く秘密に光を当てることができるのか? 過去に発表されたパートへのリンクはこちら。 *** 第8章 - 恐ろしくも真っ白な不動産書類 『みんな仲良くできないのかな?』 マリは無用に力を込めて箱に本を投げ入れた。最近、なぜ彼女は人生の中で全員と言い争いをしているのだろう?もしかすると、これは本当に悪いアイデア
Captain’s Log, Stardate 07.22.2006
Healing the Wound: I like their analogy of a father who would care not only that his daughter is rescued from a car accident, but also that she receives healing—not left to languish in ICU. God desires not just to forgive us from our sins through Christ, but also to heal us right now.
I thought the passage from Isaiah very appropriate for that, but I didn’t care for the authors’ paraphrase. I thought the scripture itself was clearer and more powerful.
Hemmed In: The authors state that God cursed Eve with lonliness so that she’d turn to God to fill her. Well, isn’t that true of everybody, not just women? Is this not true of men, too? Obviously, I’m not a guy so maybe it’s not true of guys. I think I’ll ask my husband.
I know that for me, God deliberately took away all my friends so that I’d turn to Him and lean on Him more. I was leaning on my friends more than God, and so He had to take drastic measures with me. I still do, I think, and every so often He sweeps in with a gentle reminder.
The authors say God thwarts women’s plans to fill their lonliness with work or service. They also say that the defense mechanisms women (and I guess men) erect to protect themselves from worldly hurt also prevent God from coming in to heal them.
Turning From the Ways You’ve Sought to Save Yourself: The authors talk about letting Jesus come in to heal you, being vulnerable to Him. It seems to be speaking to women who are Christian but who have never opened their deepest hurts to Jesus to heal.
“What if it were true? What if Jesus really could and would do this for your broken heart, your wounded feminine soul? Ask him, Jesus—is this true for me? Would you do this for me? He can, and he will . . . if you’ll let him.”
For me, this isn’t new. The act of letting Christ in to heal me was the main reason I became a Christian, and it happened starting the moment I accepted Jesus. He has been healing me ever since.
This is mostly due to Oswald Chambers, and his talk of “reckless abandon” to Christ. It significantly impacted my relationship with Jesus to think of giving myself to Him in “reckless abandon.” I love that phrase. It brings such joy and freedom in mind for me.
So at this point, the chapter didn’t feel like it was speaking directly to me. At the same time, I had this fear—what if I’m in denial and I’m missing something?
But then I had to pray and trust God to speak to me if it was something important for me. Ultimately, it isn’t this book that speaks to me—it’s God. And I also know that this kind of fear that I’m “missing something” isn’t a godly fear.
Invite Him In: In the guided journal: “Think of the way your life is not working out—or the lives of women you look at and long for. How is God stirring your heart?”
I really didn’t like this question because again, as in previous chapters, it seems to be telling women to actively look for what’s wrong in their lives, for areas in which to feel discontent.
I don’t agree with this. God tells us to learn to be content in our circumstances. And I think that for wounded areas in our lives in which we need healing like this, we don’t have to actively search for it—it’s there, raw and painful, or being ignored like the elephant in the room.
Forgive: I like how the authors emphasize this, because I think it’s really true. I’m not saying it’s easy, because I still struggle with this a lot, and I admit there are people in my past whom I’m not quite certain I’ve really forgiven them.
But I’ve felt the acid of bitterness eating away at me, and it’s not pleasant. The conviction of the Spirit that I need to let go isn’t too nice to feel, either—for me, it feels like a stick prodding the wound. But I also know that the freedom of choosing to let it go is sweet, and I try to do that when God brings the issue up for me.
I like how the authors emphasize that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling.
Let Him Father You: I also liked how Stasi told about how she initially thought of God the Father in relation to her own father, who was absent in her life. It’s a good point that many women don’t have good fathers, and viewing God as father doesn’t always bring up the best associations in their minds.
She talked about how God revealed Himself to her as father to replace the poor father-role-model she’d had. I liked that, because it gives hope for other women who had abusive fathers to be able to relate to God as their true father.
My dad is great, but I don’t think this chapter was written for me.
My thoughts in sum: I think this chapter is meant to be a powerful revelation to women who have deep wounds from abuse, who have denied their pain and never sought healing.
I know I was scarred when I first started walking with Christ, but God started working on those scars right away. It was like my knee surgery incisions—they were tender with lots of lumpy scar tissue, but my physical therapist started massaging them with a special cream. It really hurt to break up that scar tissue, but now they’re smooth and well-healed, and the scar tissue is gone.
I do wonder about women who don’t have deep wounds to heal who read this chapter. Would it just encourage them into a pity-poor-me party?
While I realize this chapter is about healing, I noticed the authors never talked about women taking responsibility for any bad decisions they themselves might have made. Now, I realize that some abuse is inflicted on women, but sometimes women are wounded as a result of their own bad choices—I know I was.
The chapter seems to say, “None of this was your fault—it’s because of others and Satan. You’ve built up a defense mechanism because of it all. But God can heal you now.” That’s probably not the author’s intent, but that’s what the chapter’s message seemed to be.
It bothers me because I’m always trying to encourage the teens in the church youth group to take responsibility for their actions and choices, to not blame others and the world, to face up to consequences and trust in God.
However, I also know that women often suffer abuse inflicted upon them that really isn’t in their control. I know that the abuse can cause horrible wounding that festers for years. I think this chapter is really for them. The steps presented in the chapter are good ones for healing, and they focus solely on the healing of Christ, His love, His power.
Healing the Wound: I like their analogy of a father who would care not only that his daughter is rescued from a car accident, but also that she receives healing—not left to languish in ICU. God desires not just to forgive us from our sins through Christ, but also to heal us right now.
I thought the passage from Isaiah very appropriate for that, but I didn’t care for the authors’ paraphrase. I thought the scripture itself was clearer and more powerful.
Hemmed In: The authors state that God cursed Eve with lonliness so that she’d turn to God to fill her. Well, isn’t that true of everybody, not just women? Is this not true of men, too? Obviously, I’m not a guy so maybe it’s not true of guys. I think I’ll ask my husband.
I know that for me, God deliberately took away all my friends so that I’d turn to Him and lean on Him more. I was leaning on my friends more than God, and so He had to take drastic measures with me. I still do, I think, and every so often He sweeps in with a gentle reminder.
The authors say God thwarts women’s plans to fill their lonliness with work or service. They also say that the defense mechanisms women (and I guess men) erect to protect themselves from worldly hurt also prevent God from coming in to heal them.
Turning From the Ways You’ve Sought to Save Yourself: The authors talk about letting Jesus come in to heal you, being vulnerable to Him. It seems to be speaking to women who are Christian but who have never opened their deepest hurts to Jesus to heal.
“What if it were true? What if Jesus really could and would do this for your broken heart, your wounded feminine soul? Ask him, Jesus—is this true for me? Would you do this for me? He can, and he will . . . if you’ll let him.”
For me, this isn’t new. The act of letting Christ in to heal me was the main reason I became a Christian, and it happened starting the moment I accepted Jesus. He has been healing me ever since.
This is mostly due to Oswald Chambers, and his talk of “reckless abandon” to Christ. It significantly impacted my relationship with Jesus to think of giving myself to Him in “reckless abandon.” I love that phrase. It brings such joy and freedom in mind for me.
So at this point, the chapter didn’t feel like it was speaking directly to me. At the same time, I had this fear—what if I’m in denial and I’m missing something?
But then I had to pray and trust God to speak to me if it was something important for me. Ultimately, it isn’t this book that speaks to me—it’s God. And I also know that this kind of fear that I’m “missing something” isn’t a godly fear.
Invite Him In: In the guided journal: “Think of the way your life is not working out—or the lives of women you look at and long for. How is God stirring your heart?”
I really didn’t like this question because again, as in previous chapters, it seems to be telling women to actively look for what’s wrong in their lives, for areas in which to feel discontent.
I don’t agree with this. God tells us to learn to be content in our circumstances. And I think that for wounded areas in our lives in which we need healing like this, we don’t have to actively search for it—it’s there, raw and painful, or being ignored like the elephant in the room.
Forgive: I like how the authors emphasize this, because I think it’s really true. I’m not saying it’s easy, because I still struggle with this a lot, and I admit there are people in my past whom I’m not quite certain I’ve really forgiven them.
But I’ve felt the acid of bitterness eating away at me, and it’s not pleasant. The conviction of the Spirit that I need to let go isn’t too nice to feel, either—for me, it feels like a stick prodding the wound. But I also know that the freedom of choosing to let it go is sweet, and I try to do that when God brings the issue up for me.
I like how the authors emphasize that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling.
Let Him Father You: I also liked how Stasi told about how she initially thought of God the Father in relation to her own father, who was absent in her life. It’s a good point that many women don’t have good fathers, and viewing God as father doesn’t always bring up the best associations in their minds.
She talked about how God revealed Himself to her as father to replace the poor father-role-model she’d had. I liked that, because it gives hope for other women who had abusive fathers to be able to relate to God as their true father.
My dad is great, but I don’t think this chapter was written for me.
My thoughts in sum: I think this chapter is meant to be a powerful revelation to women who have deep wounds from abuse, who have denied their pain and never sought healing.
I know I was scarred when I first started walking with Christ, but God started working on those scars right away. It was like my knee surgery incisions—they were tender with lots of lumpy scar tissue, but my physical therapist started massaging them with a special cream. It really hurt to break up that scar tissue, but now they’re smooth and well-healed, and the scar tissue is gone.
I do wonder about women who don’t have deep wounds to heal who read this chapter. Would it just encourage them into a pity-poor-me party?
While I realize this chapter is about healing, I noticed the authors never talked about women taking responsibility for any bad decisions they themselves might have made. Now, I realize that some abuse is inflicted on women, but sometimes women are wounded as a result of their own bad choices—I know I was.
The chapter seems to say, “None of this was your fault—it’s because of others and Satan. You’ve built up a defense mechanism because of it all. But God can heal you now.” That’s probably not the author’s intent, but that’s what the chapter’s message seemed to be.
It bothers me because I’m always trying to encourage the teens in the church youth group to take responsibility for their actions and choices, to not blame others and the world, to face up to consequences and trust in God.
However, I also know that women often suffer abuse inflicted upon them that really isn’t in their control. I know that the abuse can cause horrible wounding that festers for years. I think this chapter is really for them. The steps presented in the chapter are good ones for healing, and they focus solely on the healing of Christ, His love, His power.
Comments
Letting Jesus heal me isn't new to me either, (Thank You Jesus :-)
The forgiveness aspect is what I blogged about too.
Then I liked your sum up. I do think it is important to take responsibility for our own choices, but to know that we are loved INSPITE of ourselves . . . I just thank Jesus (again!)
Letting Jesus heal me isn't new to me either, (Thank You Jesus :-)
The forgiveness aspect is what I blogged about too.
Then I liked your sum up. I do think it is important to take responsibility for our own choices, but to know that we are loved INSPITE of ourselves . . . I just thank Jesus (again!)
I really appreciate you saying this:"But then I had to pray and trust God to speak to me if it was something important for me. Ultimately, it isn’t this book that speaks to me—it’s God. And I also know that this kind of fear that I’m “missing something” isn’t a godly fear." I totally agree and it's a great reminder. I'd been struggling with the " what if I'm missing something" thoughts as well. I also like how you adressed that God instructs us to learn to be content with our situations. I couldn't agree with you more on that as well- it has been a lesson I've had to really learn hard in the past 3 years. Thank you. : )