Monday, August 01, 2005

I quit my job

Captain's Log, Stardate 08.01.2005

I've been praying about this for a month now, after fasting earlier in July and asking everyone and their dog to pray for me.

This decision doesn't come lightly. I discussed it with my husband first, and I had been praying for God to speak to him as well so that we two could be in agreement. My husband said he was open to my quitting for about six months to try writing full-time. Six months will put me at the end of January, which is perfect timing if I want to find another job, since most companies start listing positions at that time.

My friend Marilyn talked with me about it, because she made a similar decision a month earlier. She also pointed out that I wasn't quitting to work full-time with absolutely no encouragement to go on. I already have an agent, and I garnered interest in my writing with editors when I went to conferences and when my agent sent my Chicklit out to publishers.

The time at RWA National kind of cemented things for me. One thing I heard over and over: Publishers are looking for multicultural contemporary fiction. Well, whaddaya know, I write Asian fiction. Another thing I heard there and have been hearing on the loops: Inspirational fiction is skyrocketing. Hmm, sounds like I might fit that.

Also, in my meeting with Melissa, she said she was interested in my Hawaii Chicklit/Suspense, which isn't done yet. I want to finish that ASAP and send it to her while my face is still fresh in her memory.

I fasted this morning and prayed (although it didn't seem like enough). I talked it over with coworkers. Finally, I went to talk to my supervisor with hands shaking.

It turned out so much better than I expected. My supervisor writes children's fiction himself, so he understood my desire to write full-time. He also seemed genuinely sorry to lose me, and suggested I talk to HR about an extended leave of absence instead of resigning. He then actually helped me write my resignation letter before I "officially" emailed it to him, cc'ing his boss and HR. I had formally put in my two weeks' notice, but the letter mentioned that I intended to speak to HR about a leave of absence instead of resigning.

Now I feel both free and scared. What if I can't discipline myself in my writing? What if nothing happens during those six months? What if I get more rejections and my agent dumps me and I can't break through this writer's block--although I'm not entirely certain I have writer's block--and, and, and.

I prayed tonight, and received God's peace. Anxiety is not from Him. I have to trust His Spirit is leading me, and that He'd either tell me I'm headed the wrong way or else give me what I need to endure my bad decision, plus grow me along the way.

13 comments :

  1. Oh, Camy, waytago! I really enjoyed your post about RWA. Sounds like you had lots of confirmation. And fun. Now we can squeal and run up to you in Nashville..."Aren't you that editor...?!"

    I have worked from home for the past year now (not writing). The hospital I worked for outsourced me, and I love it. But it WAS quite an adjustment.

    You can do it! :) God'll make sure you won't fall.

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  2. Congrats Camy!
    I know this was a hard decision, but I'm so excited for you. Like Colleen told me, "Dream big." So, you go girl! And start dreaming!

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  3. I am proud of you. I will pray for you.

    Try not to worry, just do what you are called to do and God will take care of the rest. He didn't bring you this far to suddenly leave you hanging.

    You will be way to busy with your writing to go back to work in six months, Your writing will be your work, I can just feel it.

    ((((Hugs)))) Love ya.

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  4. You go girl. I know this is going to be one door shutting and another opening. God's always got the perfect timing. I'll be waiting for the I got a contract e-mail. I know it'll be coming soon. :)

    Malia

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  5. As someone who took this plunge themselves, I can say it's been both scary and rewarding. After meeting you at conference (a real treat!), I have faith in you.

    Trust God. Every day will be a new challenge but prayer works wonders. I never anticipated where my writing would take me but I put it in His hands and let it go.

    Is there any other way?

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  6. Congratulations to you for taking that plunge. God is faithful and He will provide for your needs!

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  7. Go Camy!

    I'm excited for you. I would love to quit, but I don't think I'd get much writing done. I was on bedrest for three months. Ask me how many pages I wrote?

    I found I do my best writing at work. LOL!

    Take care of you and enjoy your time writing.

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  8. THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT, LADIES!!! I can't tell you how much it means to me to have you post so many positive things about this. You all are terrific!

    Camy

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  9. Hawaiian romantioc suspense? I'd read that!

    Congratuations on taking the plunge, on having so much faith in yourself, your talent, and trusting the path given to you. Take that leav or absence, call it a sabatical, and enjoy every day of it.

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  10. I, for one, think you made a great decision. It sounds like you have planned for this and are ready, and even your employer has been on board.

    What more confirmation need you? :)

    Camy, honey, you're gonna sell. I think you are THIS close.

    Mir<--who has big discipline problems and needs a good buttkicker round the clock...

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  11. God is with you. I'm happy for you.
    :-)

    Ann

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  12. Thanks so much! I'm counting the days--Friday will be here before I know it. I'm trying to just trust God to help me out with all my fears and insecurities.

    Camy

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