Monday, April 04, 2005

Forgiveness

Captain’s Log, Stardate 04.04.2005

Yesterday, I had a good time with God. I missed church because of my cold, but I spend time reading the Gospel of Mark. The Holy Spirit convicted me when I read about prayer, faith and forgiveness in Mark 11:22-26:

Then Jesus said to the disciples, “Have faith in God. I assure you that you can say to this mountain, “May God lift you up and throw you into the sea,’ and your command will be obeyed. All that’s required is that you really believe and do not doubt in your heart. Listen to me! You can pray for anything, and if you believe, you will have it. But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your sins.” (NLT)

I’ve been feeling spiritually blah lately and just trying to push through it, be faithful despite my indifference. But when I read this passage, God convicted me about several people I need to forgive for their actions against me. I wasn’t harboring raging anger, but I did have some bitterness and I hadn’t made the conscious effort to let go.

This might also be at the root of my recent problems with gossip and slander. I was trying not to, but I kept flapping my tongue about how this person did this and is this way, blah blah blah. I’m hoping that now the issue is foremost in my mind, I’ll have more control over what I say. And perhaps this will enable me to start climbing out of the numbness and indifference I’ve been feeling.

Writing: Today I got confirmation that my article, Writing Styles: Confessions of a Plotter Who Used to Be a Pantser, will be in the ACFW Write To the Heart ezine on April 15th. I’m pretty stoked about that.

Yesterday, a young girl left a message in my guestbook and it made me realize that my audience isn’t all adults. I’ve promised myself that I would only write fiction I could show to my high school girls at church, but yesterday I also realized that I enjoy writing for the junior high girls, too. I love those sappy romance stories that are more fluff than substance but which manage to sneak in a tidbit about life.

I’ve written two of those YA short stories, which I think I will post in my Writing.com portfolio. One of them will be a bonus freebie only available to people who belong to my Yahoogroup Camy’s Loft.

I’d love to write more YA and adult short stories, I just wish I had more time! Yesterday made me realize that I’d love to have a collection of short stories for teenaged girls. I don’t know if there’s really anything like that available for girls right now.

Diet: I have been relatively good. This weekend I ate less than 2000 calories each day, and today for lunch I got a chicken salad. I should have gone walking at work, though. The dog is at our friend’s house all day today (to help get their dog tired) so I didn’t go running when I got home.

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