キャミー・タング著「戌年」連載小説 プロのドッグトレーナーであるマリ・ムトウは、厄年を迎えている。 犬小屋と訓練所の改築をしながら、いつも不服そうにしている家族と同居することになった。母と姉に言わせれば、犬の毛とよだれかけにまみれる仕事は、家族にとって恥ずべきものだという。彼女は元カレを説得し、数ヶ月間犬を預かってもらうことにした。しかし、彼の兄は、数週間前に彼女が誤って車に追突した、怒り狂ったセキュリティ専門家であることが判明する。 アシュウィン・ケイトウは十分な問題を抱えている。叔母が玄関先に現れ、同居を希望している。彼は彼女にすべてを借りているので、断ることができません。母親が家を出て行った後、ネルおばさんはアシュウィンと弟を引き取り、愛のあるキリスト教の家庭で育てた。しかも、弟のダスティもアパートを追い出され、居場所を求めている。しかし、彼は犬を飼っている。そして、その犬の飼い主は誰だと思いますか？ しかし、旧友でオアフ島のノースショアでデイスパを経営する私立探偵のエディサ・ゲレロから依頼を受ける。マリの施設で奇妙な破壊行為があり、3年前に失踪したエディサの妹の財布を発見する。エディサはマリが危険な目に遭っているのではと心配する。警備の専門家であるアシュウィンがすでにマリを知っていることを知ったエディサは、忙しい若い女性を密かに監視することを彼に依頼する。 アシュウィンは、活発でのんびりとしたドッグトレーナーに不本意ながら惹かれていく。彼女は、幸せそうな母親を思い出させる。その母親の裏切りによって、彼は人と距離を置くようになったのだ。マリは、アシュウィンの冷たい外見を見抜き、彼が家族に忠実な男であることを認める。彼は、彼女のキャリア選択を批判するだけの母親や姉とは違う。 マリのバラバラな家庭とアシュウィンのバラバラな家庭の中で、過去を隠そうとする人たちから、彼らの周りに危険が迫ってくるようになる。彼らは、影で動く秘密に光を当てることができるのか？ 過去に発表されたパートへのリンクはこちら。 *** 第8章 - 恐ろしくも真っ白な不動産書類 『みんな仲良くできないのかな？』 マリは無用に力を込めて箱に本を投げ入れた。最近、なぜ彼女は人生の中で全員と言い争いをしているのだろう？もしかすると、これは本当に悪いアイデア
Captain’s Log, Stardate 12.28.04
The holidays passed quietly here at home because of my surgery and my husband's hectic work schedule. Instead of a huge family dinner, we had a beef roast done in the rotisserie, silky mashed potatoes (they turned out even better than I expected) and a wonderfully sweet, gooey chocolate Lava Cake with real whipped cream. No cooking something to bring to a get-together, no rushing out the door to be somewhere in time. It was nice. Almost anti-climactic, after the years of family parties with gift-unwrapping and enough food to feed a starving Fraternity.
Emotionally, I’m in a hard place. I unloaded on
I am wrestling with God. I think He wants me to go back to work. I have been reading devotionals on rejoicing in all situations, and leaning on Him in hardship, and He will deliver me. I want to be willing to do His will, but my heart is heavy. I feel kind of like Jesus in
I'm supposed to start work next week Wednesday. It's making me a bit depressed. It's hard to feel hope, now that I've once again tasted the life of a full-time writer (granted, a full-time *gimpy* writer). But I really don't want to disobey God like the Israelites did and get slaughtered by their enemies! I know in my head, Who am I to know better than God what's best for me? But at the same time I feel trepidation, distress and dread.
My husband got hired full-time at his start up company, so now he has benefits although he's still not being paid much. That's what made me start thinking I might be able to quit before returning to work, since we don't need my benefits anymore. I don't know how keen my husband is on that. I think he wants me to go back and see how things are, and if they're still bad, then to quit. That sounds reasonable but I can't get my heart to feel the courage to even go back.
I am trying to cling to the hope that God will deliver me, but I am so tired and weak. The stress of going back to work is making it hard for me to write. My husband is not home enough for me to talk to him, because he's so tired when he does get home late at night and he's not up to discussing things. I think I need supernatural courage and trust. Can God give me those? I so want to obey Him but at the same time I don't.
I will continue to pray and look to God for guidance. I am trying not to stress, but to give my burdens up to Him. It's getting harder the closer I get to the date I return to work.
I read through several Psalms today and feel a bit better. There is so much that David wrote about trusting in God, about how God delivered His people and persecuted their enemies. David continued to rejoice in God despite hardship. I don’t know if I’ve quite reached that point yet, but I feel better than I did earlier.
I finally finished my outline for my romantic suspense. I started writing, although it’s slow going. Partly because I’m finally watching Star Trek Voyager season 6, with season 7 in my Netflix queue! Good thing I only have three DVDs at a time or else I’d be plowing through them. As for my manuscript, I finished chapter three last night and worked a bit on chapter four today.
Well, I’m off to watch another Voyager disc!
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